The Best Compliment from a Customer!

Today I answered a call from two sistas seeking to order a particular book series through our store. Well, actually one woman was on the phone with me while confirming things with the other and telling her to jot things down, but you catch my drift. At first there was some confusion, as not all the titles they had in mind matched the ones that came up when I searched our system. (Turns out that the author wrote two successive series whose titles are identical save for a one-word difference.) Once we'd figured that out, I thought we'd be good. But then, after I answered their subsequent questions about shipping time, shipping fees, membership benefits, and being able to order books from us without stepping foot in the store, the women decided wisely against ordering anything for now.

Sista: You know what? I think I better go and check which ones we've read and which ones we might've given away to people. That way we can be sure which ones we need to order, and then I'll call you again.

Danielle: Ok, that's fine.

Sista: Now, what's your name again?

Me: Danielle.

Sista: Danielle, ok─[to her friend in the background] Write that down! Her name's Danielle. We'll call and ask for her later.

Me [checking the time to see that I should've clocked out five minutes ago]: Well, you know, I actually won't be here for much longer today. But whoever answers the phone when you call back should be able to help you, no problem.

Sista [sounding disappointed]: Oh... But you're so good! We want to talk to you!

Me [laughing to keep from crying at how nice this lady is being]: Aww, thank you! I really appreciate that!

Sista: Yeah, you've been extremely helpful. So you will be in later, right? Just not today?

Me: Right.

Sista: Well that's okay, because I probably won't be able to call again today anyhow. So I'll just call some other time this week and maybe we'll catch you.

Me: Alright then. Y'all have a great day!

Sista: You too. And thank you! Bye.

BOOKS! (The Box Man)

This book is bizarre, to say the least. I had to read Abe Kobo's Woman in the Dunes for my Japanese lit class last semester, and I bought it from a seller on Amazon who threw in The Box Man for free. Before even thinking about picking up this novel, I think it's wise to read Woman in the Dunes beforehand to get a feel for Kobo's writing style and pervading themes. Because at least then you'll be primed with the knowledge that you can't go into an Abe Kobo book expecting to understand all of it or have it clearly laid out for you. And that way, when you finally do crack open The Box Man, you'll have been mentally prepared for the challenge that awaits.

The Box Man by Abe Kobo 

The premise at first has the narrator, who identifies himself as a box man, describing the phenomena of people such as himself choosing to reject their quotidian lives to live as vagrants, roaming around with boxes over their heads and bodies that they've outfitted to be their new homes. What we are reading are presumably the notes he scribbles all over the inside of his box, keeping a record of his daily life and the observations he makes of the outside world. He claims to have been a photographer before becoming a box man, so he is very much preoccupied with images, imagination, and perceptions of reality. And as a box man, he can't help but pontificate on the precariousness of identity and loneliness. The main story involves him randomly getting shot while walking up a road, and after having reached a small local hospital he becomes obsessed with the doctor and nurse who run the place. He's infatuated with the exhibitionist nurse and lusts after seeing and touching her body, he's convinced that the doctor shot him in order to take his box and become a "fake" box man, and he suspects that the doctor and nurse are conspiring against him.

But then it all changes from there. Narrators switch, random photos and newspaper clippings are inserted here and there, events happen that appear to be dreams but may not be, it's all a cluster of whatishappeningrightnow. There are between one and eight characters in the novel in its entirety, depending on who's narrating which part and whether you believe that that character is who they say they are (whether you believe they actually exist in the novel). The city of Tokyo, some overpass on the outskirts of the city, a hospital also on the outskirts of the city, and a couple other imaginary or non-imaginary places make up the setting. Strange monologues and dialogues occur where you're not always sure who is speaking, and it's like so many things are happening and yet nothing is happening at once. Even the connections between characters are put into question. 

Now, as far as the concept of a box man goes, I kind of get it. Living with a box over your head represents the desire to be anonymous, even when surrounded by tons of people on a daily basis. But anonymity and invisibility make for a mixed bag of consequences. On the one hand, you're isolated from everyone, don't have real (much less stable) relationships, and frankly, you don't live in the real world but rather the world you create in your head. But! No one has access to you or knows you unless you will it, and if no one can reach you, that means (theoretically) no one can do you harm. It's like you want to be part of the world and have unmitigated freedom to wander and spy on all its goings on, but you don't want to be so involved in it that you can't retreat and hide whenever you need too. This is quite a fascinating scenario that Kobo has come up with.

The biggest question is, though, is any of this real? Two characters point out that the story exists only because of the notes that are taken by any one character at a time, which means the events could have actually happened or they could just as well be a figment of the narrator/notetaker's imagination. Basically this novel is one huge troll, which you'll likely be tempted to give up on, as I was. But it's also an educative example of how unstable narrators in a novel can be made to be, and how sometimes as readers we're called on to participate and be discerning rather than just consume the story at face value. Sometimes we're called on to decide if what we're reading is believable or even real in the context of the story. I thought Murakami's stuff was mind-bending, but this book really messes with your head. By far, Abe Kobo takes the absurdist, surrealist, fantastical, mysterious, existentialist, brain-bending cake. Still, as much of a challenge as this book might be, I encourage anyone who's up for it to read The Box Man at least once, just to see how your particular gears will turn when faced with a book that consistently and purposefully refuses you the comfort of having things make immediate sense. Have fun. May the comprehension odds be ever in your favor.

Favorite quotes:

"That the act of spying on someone else is generally looked upon with scorn is because, I suppose, one does not want to be on the side of being seen... Anybody would rather look than be looked at. The fact that they keep on and on selling endless instruments for "looking"─radios and televisions─is excellent proof that ninety-nine percent of men are aware of their own unsightliness" (86).

"When he realized that there was no reason to fear anyone's looking back at him... Every detail of the scene was pervaded by a soft but penetrating light, and everything that struck the eye was velvety smooth and graceful... The world was filled with a softness as of an early Saturday evening that would go on forever... Just by looking at it, the world was happy for him. In his imagination he put his signature to a peace treaty between himself and the world" (150-1).

Skunk Spray and a Mama's Influence...

....Neither goes away without putting up a fight.

Madison, my elderly but still overly curious dog, got sprayed by a skunk last night. And so after making a midnight run to the grocery store for the necessary supplies, Ma and I were up until 2:30am scrubbing her down to get rid of the smell. However, because I'd inhaled so much of the stench while handling Madison, I could still taste it in my mouth and my throat and chest were irritated when I got up this morning. Ma insisted I do a breathing treatment (our emergency Plan B for when an inhaler isn't enough to tame my asthma), which I balked at as being unnecessary. But Ma declared that I'd be doing it anyway, which led to another one of our "I can't wait until I'm on my own and you can't tell me what to do anymore" conversations.

Me: Fine... this is why I need to get out of here. Because you're always just gonna do whatever you wanna do and pull the "mother card" out on me.

Ma: You've got to accept the fact that no matter where you go or how old you get, I'm still gonna be your mother.

Me: Yeah, but if I'm not in this house,  you can't make me do anything I don't wanna do.

Ma: Wanna bet?

Me: Ma! If I'm off somewhere, say I'm living over in Japan or something, what can you make me do?

Ma: Don't worry about it. I'll come up with something. 

-_-

Nice Day in NOVI!

Today was my day off. And instead of spending it mulling around the house like I usually do, I decided to go out and do something! So I drove to a nearby city called Novi with one of my best friends. Novi has the largest and most notable Japanese community in all of Michigan, so we spent the day there exploring Japanese things (mostly food) and nature. We had a splendid time! I'm putting up a few pics here, but click the link below to see all of the photos that I took during our excursion!

Nice Day in NOVI! photos

BOOKS! (Boy Meets Depression) - proof

Hurray! I recently got my hands on my first advanced reading copy/uncorrected proof ever! This is yet another thing that I can chalk up to the perks of working in a bookstore. Most of the ARCS and proofs that come our way look like snoozefests to me, but this one caught my eye with its verging-on-ugly-but-not-quite neon green cover, its relatively short 200-page length, the title's reference to one of my favorite 90s TV shows, and the big "D" word in its title that resonates with me so much. So I figured, what the hey, I'll take a chance! And I'm glad I did.

Boy Meets Depression: Or Life Sucks and Then You Die Live by Kevin Breel 
(on sale September 15th, 2015)

Kevin Breel is a Canadian comic and mental health activist who apparently did a TED Talk in 2013 that brought him a lot of attention. I don't know if this book was already in the works before TED or not,  but it's certainly helped give this project momentum. The back cover quotes some TV personality and author who claims that Breel "has single-handedly demystified depression" through this book. I would disagree for three reasons: 1) Kevin Breel is neither the first nor the only person out there to write about depression as he has done here. 2) In order to declare such a shift in culture, the book would have to have reached a significant amount of people enough to transform thought and discussion about depression, and since the public doesn't have access to this book yet, I don't think such a claim can be made. And 3) Kevin Breel does an excellent job of describing what depression feels like. As someone who also suffers from depression, I can vouch for this based on my own experience. But! Just because Breel's experience has some similarities with mine, doesn't mean that his depression story is altogether representative of mine or anyone else's. So to say he demystifies depression across the board for everybody is a stretch.

But anywhoo, moving on to the book itself. Boy Meets Depression is Breel's account of dealing with depression in his own way. And after having read it, I'm struck by how unremarkable his life is. Now, I don't mean this in a pejorative way. He grew up in suburbia (so did I). His parents had a terrible relationship and got divorced while he was relatively young (so did mine). He was an incredibly awkward and sensitive kid (so was I). But he still had a good group of friends and was decently involved in school (so was I). And his mom may not have understood all that he was going through, but she stuck by him and did her best to help him get through (so did mine). His life is unremarkable in that I'm sure many young people can relate. And I think it's that relatability that makes the depression part less taboo when he finally delves into it. An average guy with a relatively decently life, who's been through some things and has had a hard time accepting himself and processing his hardships. That probably sounds like a lot of people you know, right? That's what makes this book work. It's accessible without dumbing things down too much, which is a useful approach to educating people about not only what a mental illness is, but also how it can manifest in one person's day-to-day life.

Three chapters in particular are required reading, in my opinion. If for whatever reason you want to take the lazy route and get to the meat of what this book has to offer, chapters 4, 7, and 8 will give it to you. Chapter 4 ("High School, Hormones, and Hard-Ons") is about Breel's downward spiral in high school, and the guidance counselor named Mr. York who refuses to give up on him. Breel has a real advocate in his corner, but (*spoiler*) when things get too real, he pushes Mr. York away. I've done that many a time before, even though I knew I needed help. Chapter 7 ("Boy Meets Depression") gives you the ins and outs of what depression is, how depression can make one feel/think/act, Kevin Breel's hitting rock bottom and contemplating suicide, and his decision to keep living. He waxes a little too long on the warped depths that depression can take you to, which was triggering for me and thus made it hard for me to get through this chapter. But otherwise, it's the most accurate description I've read of what I know depression to be like, and though it may not be indicative of all depressed people's experiences, it gives quite the thorough picture. And lastly, Chapter 8 ("Leather Chairs in Sooke") talks about Breel finally taking the plunge and going to therapy, what he got out of his sessions, and how his perceptions of therapy changed as a result. This chapter reminded me a lot of my Sessions with Sue, which I remember fondly.

The book reads a lot like a TED Talk, which is okay in some parts but in others it just kinda makes me nauseous. A few too many cliches, and some lines wreak of trying too hard to sound profound. Some ideas are repetitive, and in certain parts I think he's trying to be funny in a self-deprecating way, but it reads like he's being too hard on himself. Like, Dude! Of course it took you a long time to figure out what matters most in life! It takes everyone a long time! You're only 21, man. Cut yourself some slack! And Dude! Just because you don't have the worst life ever doesn't mean that you have no right to be depressed! While this book may not be a stellar read, it is incredibly honest, helpful, and soooooo necessary. If you or someone you know is interested in learning about how people live with depression everyday, and want something that's accessible (no complex medical or specialized concepts to go over people's heads!), then this is where you start. From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank Kevin Breel for the courage to tell his story. Thank you, sir, for doing your part. God bless you and good luck with the release!

Favorite quote:

"Sometimes I think of my depression as a fog... In a way, fog is both beautiful and haunting at the same time. It's hard to define, hold, or interact with, and yet it exists. It's there. You can't really clear it away just because you want it to be gone. At the same time, you always know that the fog is just temporary. It's always just rolling through. It will be here for a while and then it will pass. And eventually it will disappear completely and the world as you know it will come back in to plain view, like it never even left. But in the meantime, while it's still hanging in the air as thick as smoke, you can't see life the way you used to see it. The beauty is missing and the perspective is gone. You can only see the six inches in front of your face, and those six inches aren't pretty" (124).

Reading Companion

Was feeling down the other day, so I decided to try sitting on the floor and reading to get my mind off things. Madison took this as her cue to assume her favorite cuddling position.

Amy + Inside Out

Monday was my day off, so I decided to go to the movies by myself, watch two films back-to-back, and have myself a good cry. Luckily for me I picked two great films to cry through.

Seen Monday July 13th: Amy

Unseen footage, unheard songs, over 100 interviews, and other material were used to produce this documentary detailing the life, rise to stardom, and untimely death of Amy Winehouse. The English soul/R&B/jazz singer-songwriter had a distinctive voice, showcased an edgy and honest writing style, and amassed her share of love from fans and ridicule from media during her career. She released two albums before falling victim to addiction on July 23, 2011 at age 27. This film attempts to tell her story "in her own words".

 

What I really like about this film: Though people have already voiced their issues with the story that this documentary tells, I lovelovelove the way this story is told. The emphasis is almost completely on documentary materials: photos, video footage and audio recordings, magazine and newspaper clippings, scans of pages from Amy's song/poetry/lyric books in her own handwriting. Commentary from various people who were part of Amy's life serves as narration, but we don't see them as they're being interviewed; we only hear their voices. Really the only footage specially shot for the film are aerial and panning shots that were done using drones. Rather than on all the people who have so much to say about this woman, the focus is on Amy and the story that's being portrayed about her. And I just found that to be magnificent. I haven't seen many documentaries in my life so I'm no expert, but this one is definitely high on my list of favorites.

Aside from her problems with addiction, what I got most out of the story is that Amy Winehouse was an artist's artist; and despite how famous she got, fame was never the goal. She just wanted to make music that was real and meant something to her, and the stuff of her life made up most of her material. "Some Unholy War", "You Know I'm No Good", "Love is a Losing Game", "Rehab", "Tears Dry on Their Own", etc. We get the play-by-play on the events that inspired all of those songs and more. And that affected me deeply. When they went into the background behind "Back to Black", showed her recording the song, and then played the actual mixed and mastered record that I've heard time and time again, I cried like a baby. And then at the end when they showed EMS carrying her body out of her apartment and loading her into the back of a truck, and then cut to a bunch of shots and clips from the beginning of the film that show young bright-eyed Amy all hopeful and hardworking and drug free, I wept. I couldn't not weep. As a casual fan I'd known that Amy Winehouse was different, but this film made me realize just how special and vulnerable of a person she was. We lost someone truly, incredibly, devastatingly special, and that's quite a beautiful and heartbreaking thing to have to acknowledge.

What I don't like about this film: As much as the documentary talks about Amy as an artist, I wished it would've focused even more on her artistry and impact than it did. Like how unique her voice and jazz inclinations were at a time where almost no young chart-topping woman was singing jazz or anything akin to it. Or how she was one of the artists who opened the door for British soul and R&B singers in the American and world markets during the 2000s. Before Adele, before Daley, before Sam Smith, before Emeli Sande, before Lianne La Havas, before Jessie J, before any of them hit it big, there was Amy Winehouse. And that's a huge deal. Like, she accomplished so much, and left such a huge mark, in so little time. And she only released two albums! I understand that the documentary is creating a narrative about someone who has passed away, which means it would make sense to acknowledge this person's death and what led to it. After all, she didn't just disappear into thin air; her choices and the choices of some people closest to her had consequences. I get that, so I appreciate the ins and outs that we learn about her addiction problems. I'm just saying that for as wonderful as the film is, I fear that it sells her short.

Would I recommend it?: Yes. If you care about real music or real artists at all, watch this film. You shan't regret it.



Seen Monday July 13th: Inside Out

After having lived in Minnesota all her life, 11-year-old Riley has an extremely difficult time adjusting when her family moves to San Francisco. But she is not alone! A team of emotions (Joy, Anger, Sadness, Fear, and Disgust) live in her brain and work around the clock to manage her feelings and memories and keep her stable. But when Joy and Sadness get separated from headquarters and Riley continues to feel cut off from all that she knows, will it prove to be too much for her?

"Meet the little voices inside your head."

What I really like about this film: I can't not give props to Pixar for creating a work of art with such an original concept, but what really sold me one this film was the message. For the most part people always try to be happy because they want to or they feel like they have to be, and in the process they try to ignore their sadness. But sadness is necessary too! Because if you don't recognize and express the sadness you're feeling, then even the people closest too you won't be perceptive of it, and then they won't be able to help you because they don't know what's going on. In other words, sadness, when not bottled up or hidden away, can bring you some of the happiest moments in life because expressing it allows people to comfort you, encourage you, and help you to move forward. Amen, Inside Out. Amen.

What I don't like about this film: This is pretty heavy for a children's film. Riley is not only moving to an unfamiliar place and leaving her old life behind, but she's also a pre-teen, meaning all around there are transitions and new emotions she has to learn how to process as she enters young adulthood. Obviously this is a story worth telling that is relatable to so many young (and young at heart) people. But it has quite a few moments where it gets deep. And dark. And just... heavy. Plus with all the neurological and psychological vocabulary, at times I felt the film would be more appropriate for a middle school, high school, or even first-year undergrad psychology course than for young children. I'm 22, and some of it even went over my head.

I was also confused about the structure and rules of the world within Riley's brain. If Joy is responsible for keeping Riley happy, but then Joy has a moment when she gets upset and cries, is Joy still Joy? And if Sadness is able to sit next to another figment of Riley's brain and comfort him without making him feel worse about the situation, is she still Sadness? Speaking of Sadness, I wasn't sure what to make of her character at first. From the beginning she's the bumbling, moapy, often unmotivated member of the team who's always forgetting (or choosing not to follow) instructions, but she gets in the way so often and makes so many mistakes during the first half of the film that it makes one wonder if she's trying to sabotage the team or not. Luckily she ends up being an invaluable part of the mission to get Riley re-stabilized, but I don't like how ambiguous her character seems to be at first. And lastly, speaking of good guys, there's no villain in this story. Not one. All the characters are, ostensibly, good. A children's film, a Disney/Pixar movie at that, with no "bad guy"? How can this be?? Of course this is noteworthy because it's something different. But it's also... odd. Perhaps the villain in the film is all the stress and negativity that's causing Riley to shut down and not act like herself. She goes through so much crap emotionally that maybe pinpointing a villain would've just been excessive.

Would I recommend it?: Absolutely! This film is a wonderful reminder that everyone needs help from time to time.You just have to be willing to express how you feel.