BOOKS! (Cure) - proof

Another advanced reader copy taken from the bookstore break room. I usually don't read scientific books of any sort, but I was intrigued by this one's title and premise. The power of the mind to heal the body is currently a very trendy topic, so this book will be right up the alley of many people who already believe in this phenomenon. However, this idea is also met with much skepticism among doctors and scientists who doubt the efficacy of alternative medicine. What makes Cure different from many mind-body/self-transformation texts, however, is that it takes a scientist's approach to explore whether there is evidence to substantiate the use of the mind in medical practice.

Cure: A Journey into the Science of Mind Over Body by Jo Marchant
(on sale January 19th, 2016) 

The new age-y title is likely to entice and intrigue many as it did me, but please don't get too excited. What Marchant presents is radical, but not that radical. She doesn't argue that we can think ourselves well (the idea that positive thinking can cure diseases is not a theory that she can support neither as a doctor nor as a scientist). What she does argue, however, is that by using practices meant to influence the mind in conjunction with more conventional treatments, our brains can play a major role in mitigating and relieving symptoms. This in turn can lessen the suffering and anxiety associated with conditions that are difficult or unresponsive to conventional treatment alone. And potentially, these relief methods could put us on the path to developing more efficient and patient-centric medical practices. In short, incorporating the multi-faceted abilities of the mind more into treatment can't be said to cure diseases all on its own, put it could get us going in the right direction.

Jo Marchant, an accomplished British geneticist and science journalist herself, drew upon many sources to conduct her research. She interviews patients and participants, and she consults or observes the work of doctors, researchers, specialists, and practitioners in the UK, US, Italy, Switzerland, France, Costa Rico, Russia and Canada. Just as the sources of her material vary by geographical location, the studies that she presents concern various phenomena and experiments. For example, the placebo effect, the brain's manipulation of fatigue, hypnotherapy being used to relieve debilitating IBS symptoms, virtual reality games and other forms of distraction being used achieve pain relief for burn victims, the merits of consistent one-to-one support and comforting speech provided by caregivers, as well as others. Readers are led to envision the possibility that the mind can be used to enhance treatment for a myriad of physical and mental conditions.

Marchant uses the first half of the book to set a foundational understanding of the ways in which the mind and body work together (both proven and not-yet-proven), and the second half of the book to apply that understanding to everyday life. Three particular chapters in this second half got me thinking. In Chapter 8, "Fight or Flight: Thoughts That Kill", she argues that societal and environmental conditions can affect our biology in such a way that certain populations (in her example, poor Black communities) are being set up to exhibit chronic stress, unhealthy behaviors, and fear mindsets that endure through adulthood. Chapter 10, "Fountain of Youth: The Secret Power of Friends", is all about longevity and loneliness; since social bonds have been found to reduce stress, Marchant explains how friendship can keep us alive. She saves what may be the hottest of hot button issues for last in Chapter 12, "Looking for God: The Real Miracle of Lourdes", using a popular Catholic pilgrimage site in France as the framework to explore how belief in God might be said to improve physical health and healing.

Ultimately, Marchant admits that this field still needs a lot of research, as there's so much about our brains especially that we still don't understand. At the same time, she repeatedly emphasizes the point that while numbers and quantitative results are important, how patients feel─not just physical sensations but also their psychological state and how they experience their illnesses─is also crucial, and should be taken into account when treating them. Because, as she writes, patients aren't just bodies and certainly aren't machines. They are complex human beings. They're people! Cure is a slightly challenging but incredibly informative read that will be useful to scientists and non-scientists alike.

Favorite quotes:

"It turns out that experiences of social exclusion or rejection─such as being shunned in a game, receiving negative social feedback, or viewing images of deceased loved ones─activate exactly the same regions of the brain as when we are in physical pain. When we're socially rejected or isolated, we don't just feel sad. We feel injured and under threat" (181).

 "The evidence shows something very different: that our bodies and minds have evolved in exquisite harmony, so perfectly integrated that it is impossible to consider one without the other. Terms like 'mind-body' and 'holistic' are often derided as flaky and unscientific, but in fact it's the idea of a mind distinct from the body, an ephemeral entity that floats somewhere in the skull like a spirit or soul, that makes no scientific sense" (255).

Talking with Yasmin 9

Today's session began with mediation and ended with a homework assignment! Doing something different, which is a welcome change from me just coming in, sitting down, talking, crying, talking while crying, and then leaving as usual. Well I mean that happened too, but at least this time it wasn't the only thing that happened. Here are my notes:

• Been feeling better
• Declined the interview for a certain job in Japan; even though moving to Japan is something that you really want, had the intuition to know that you had to let this particular opportunity go; feel you need to make peace with yourself first before uprooting your life to another continent
• "Waiting around" meditation; looking inward during periods of waiting and uncertainty instead of diverting to outward distractions
• Developing self-compassion
• Common humanity; sense of yourself as part of humanity in which other people share your struggle and difficult experiences, can empathize with yourselves and each other 
• Try hugging yourself; hug yourself by placing hands over heart, reassuring yourself that you're not alone because you always have you
• For NEXT WEEK: As you have them, make a list of negative thoughts/criticisms that you form toward yourself and re-frame them as compassionate statements

What's the Big Deal About Dating?!?

Today I had a less-than-stellar initial (and probably only) appointment with a psychiatrist in Yasmin's office. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to say "Nah", and pass on this doctor and his meds. What I'm about to tell you has little to do with why I was put off by the appointment, but it is something that's come up before and is starting to annoy me. Somewhere along his line of questioning he asked me,

"Are you dating?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Whatchu mean, why not?? Because I'm not, that's why!  "...No interest."

I understand that this is a fairly reasonable question for a psychiatrist to ask, but his "Why not?" sounded a lot like, "Oh. That's... odd. Why aren't you partaking in this normal person activity?" There are plenty of things about me that could render me an abnormal 23-year-old, but I don't see why dating should have anything to do with it. A young 23-year-old woman can't decide to forgo dating without needing a reason for it? I have my reasons, and those reasons aren't necessarily your business. But hey, for the sake of this post, I'll humor you.

I've been single all my life, and am a creature of habit! No one's ever expressed genuine interest. I've never been interested in anyone enough to pursue something like that. It's too much work (boyfriends: you have to spend time with them, talk to them, feed them, take them on walks; it's just too much work!). It's a distraction that's not even on my radar right now (I'm trying to figure out my life and you want me to sacrifice precious time and energy to keep some dude company? TUH!). Whatever a date or a boyfriend might have to offer me is currently of dubious value and not appealing to me at this point in time. And frankly (and most importantly), I just don't want to!  I don't know why people can't accept "I just don't want to" as a good enough reason for things. It's a good enough reason for me, at least.

Yasmin has also brought up the subject of dating multiple times in our sessions, like I'm missing out on something. She's recently married and so is a believer in the power of love and companionship, and how a healthy relationship can change your life for the better and all that jazz. And that's cool. I don't disagree. She wants me to be open to things, and is only encouraging me to reconsider options and broaden my horizons. Okay. But miss me with that. I get it from family, from friends, and now from well-meaning mental health professionals. Miss me with that, please.

Whew! I just had to get that off my chest. I feel better now. Maybe dating is fun and educational for most people, but I'm good with my singleness for the time being. Happy Monday, y'all!

"Tell the Truth!" - Concussion

Like in Bridge of Spies, in this film a man is hired to uphold an oath and do his job, and people ridicule him and call him un-American for doing. his. fricken. job. Said man chooses to adhere to professional standard and human decency rather than to mob mentality, and the consequences are more than he bargains for.


Seen Monday, December 28th, 2015: Concussion

Nigerian-born Dr. Bennet Omalu's life changes when he's assigned to do an autopsy on the body of Mike Webster, a former Pittsburgh Steeler's star and the city's hometown hero. Dr. Omalu finds that repeated head trauma contributed to Webster's mental demise and death, which leads him and his colleagues to put a name to a new degenerative disorder that other football players might also be in danger of developing, chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE). When his findings are published, the NFL endeavors fiercely to shut Dr. Omalu up and keep the truth buried.

"Even Legends Need a Hero / Nothing Hits Harder Than the Truth"

What I really like about this film: The very first scene with Dr. Omalu (Will Smith), where he's testifying in court for a murder case and the judge skeptically asks him, "Do you have a medical degree?". In response, Dr. Omalu calmly recites all the receipts from his studies, doctorate, multiple masters degrees, and specializations acquired from prestigious institutions on at least three continents, just so everyone in the room knows 1) not to try him like that again, and 2) that they could never even aspire to his level of excellence.

Gugu Mbatha-Raw as Prema, Dr. Omalu's wife. She impressed me in Beyond the Lights and she impresses me still.

I must mention that I greatly appreciated the way in which Omalu and his wife's faith was emphasized. It wasn't done in a corny or dogmatic way, but in a way that speaks to belief in oneself and one's purpose. I know God, and knowing God means trusting His vision. And knowing God means that when I have truth, I must tell it, even if people tell me not to. I think that's a message that can resonate with many people.

I'm also glad the film clarifies that even though Dr. Omalu  initially doesn't get what the big deal is about American football, he isn't out to take down the sport with his findings. He just wants people, and athletes especially, to be made sufficiently aware of potential risks involved with playing the sport.

What I don't like about the film: Prema is kind of just there. She has a past and desires, she has endured trauma, but these things are only mentioned in passing. As a character and the female lead, she exists only to be Dr. Omalu's companion and cheerleader, which is a waste in my opinion.

When Dr. Omalu gets invited to Capitol Hill and is offered the position of chief medical examiner for Washington, D.C., and the recruiter tells him that he represents every bit of what it means to be American because of what he's done, and that he's reached a new level in his profession now, and that they welcome him aboard.... As if he's reached the Promised Land or the Pearly Gates or something, and all of his life's work and hardships are only fully validated by a white man in a suit telling him, "Well done". I appreciate the sentiment that he is finally being recognized for his integrity and brilliance after fans, the NFL, and the Feds did him dirty for so long. And the scene doesn't even go beyond five minutes. But the way this moment of triumph is set up just rubs me the wrong way.

Lastly, this isn't a criticism of the film itself, but a reaction to a note made at the end of the film. Apparently, back in 2013 the NFL settled a lawsuit filed by 5,000 former players, on the condition that the organization would never have to reveal how much and when they know about the harmful effects of football-related head trauma. Which means the NFL knows A LOT more than anyone about something that could be killing athletes. And they. will never. tell. Ever.

Would I recommend it?: Sure. Like Creed, this is a sports film that isn't just about sports, so it has enough in it to keep it interesting for non-enthusiasts such as myself.

Talking with Yasmin 8

Today was our first session of 2016! And it went better than I expected. It helps when both parties are engaged in the conversation. Here are my notes:

• Was way up on a major New Year's Day positivity high... until a pair of your adult cousins started sweating you about being 23 and not having a job; tap-dancing (although probably not purposefully) on your guilt and insecurities about being unemployed and dependent on your mom
• But if your mom understands your situation and is okay with it for now as you re-strategize, then that's okay! It's her house, and hers is the only opinion that matters on this subject!
• Telling people you "don't know" what you want to do next even though you do; just trying to avoid hassle of explaining your aspirations to people who probably won't get it
• It's not wrong for you to want what you want, just because no one wants it or understands it
• Main issues right now are the job thing (needing to feel like you're doing something worthwhile, contributing to something), and the self-esteem/self-image thing (obsession with weight and appearance as life obstacle, difficulty maintaining positive thoughts and feelings about self)

BOOKS! (Song of the Exile)

I feel like God really wanted me to read this book, because the timing was just too eerie. Back in October I spotted it while doing recovery in the used section of the bookstore I used to work at, and decided that if that book was still shelved in the same place when I came in for my shift the next day, I would buy it. Which I did. I read it in December, and was so focused on its Hawaii/young wartime lovers plot line that I felt hit in the face when I realized that the book is actually about the sufferings and invisibility of comfort women. I'd learned about comfort women in college in a Korean history course and revisited the atrocity briefly in a Japanese lit course, but this book puts all of it in your face. Repeatedly, relentlessly. I finished it on Christmas, and a few days later, bam! The news hit about the sham deal between Japan and Korea regarding comfort women. (I encourage you to look it up, but basically Japan gives South Korea a paltry $8.3 million-dollar donation─not reparations, mind you─ to "support" the surviving women who were forced into sex slavery by the Imperial Army during WW2. In exchange, South Korea must remove the memorial statue that faces the Japanese Embassy in Seoul and never bring up comfort women in official discussions again, so Japan never has to own up to it or feel bad about it. An utter. and complete. sham. It's insulting.) Anywho. I was like dang, I literally just spent days reading about this! And these women continue to be treated like afterthoughts.

Song of the Exile by Kiana Davenport

A tale of young island love, becomes an epic wartime love story, becomes a nightmare. Kiana Davenport has done impeccable research on the worst of the worst that happened during WW2 (something few want to acknowledge or address), as experienced particularly by brown and Asian people (people who are rarely mentioned with dignity in American conversations about contributions and sacrifices during WW2). Which means that you might want to take this book in small doses. Books move me deeply but very rarely induce physical reactions in me. I've never cried reading a book, never gotten sick to my stomach. But with Song of the Exile came frequently necessary breaks because what was printed on the pages would become too much for me. 

The novel is anchored by two young and devoted lovers named Keo and Sunny. Keo finds his calling as a jazz musician and leaves their home island of Honolulu to follow his dream to New Orleans, later ending up in Paris. His girlfriend, a Korean-Hawaiian college student and painter named Sunny, follows him to Paris in 1939 as WW2 is starting. Under German occupation Sunny slips off to Shanghai to find her long-lost older sister. Keo follows her and eventually finds her, but then loses her when Japanese forces take over the city. He ends up in a prison camp elsewhere in China while Sunny is seized and taken to Rabaul as one of hundreds of thousands of sex slaves ("comfort women"/"P-girls") who are starved, tortured, abused, raped, reduced to their bodies, and murdered by the Japanese Empire's armed forces across East Asia and the Pacific Islands. Keo is liberated and taken back to Hawaii in 1943 and spends the next decade traveling the world, playing the trumpet and searching for Sunny. Meanwhile in Honolulu, Keo's family and neighbors survive the pressures of the stringent post-Pearl Harbor U.S. military occupation only to face another fight as islanders fiercely debate an impending vote on statehood for Hawaii.

The Hawaiian woman on the cover and the synopsis on the back make the novel appear to be about Sunny. But then it seems not to be, since most of the novel is comprised of Keo's story from Keo's perspective. And then you realize that this book in fact is about Sunny, because long after the end of the war Keo and his family are haunted by her absence. An absence that embodies the way in which comfort women continue to be made invisible. Their experiences are questioned and dismissed, they aren't respected as fighters like male soldiers have been, and they are often shamed for enduring all that they were forced into, rather than being honored and shown compassion for having survived. This book is a love letter to the island that raised Kiana Davenport, but is also a mournful tribute to the women who were forgotten and given no peace.

Exile comes to mean many things in this novel, especially if you think of exile as a perpetual separation or a prolonged distance. It can refer to native Hawaiians having their culture destroyed or watered down by colonization and tourism. It can refer to the devotion that jazz requires, as Keo isolates himself from others while on a quest to overcome his greatest fear of being mediocre. It can refer to the displacement of millions during the war, or the type of suffering that unmakes a person leaving them to return home never quite the same. It can refer to Keo and Sunny both separated far away from home, away from each other, away from who they used to be. The title's "song of the exile" is jazz, a music of wanderers like Keo who are constantly searching for truth, excellence, and belonging. It is also the ocean, the divine mother whose scent and waves always beckon her children back home to Hawaii.

I looked up Kiana Davenport and learned that this book is actually the second of her "Native Hawaiian" trilogy. I am so impressed by and enamored with the poetic fluidity of her prose... but Lawd. Song of the Exile has really had me going through it. If the others are anything like it, I might need to wait a couple months before trying them. This book is beautiful  and enlightening and heavy.  So, so devastatingly heavy. I highly recommend it to anyone interested in learning about Hawaii pre-statehood or about the horrors that civilians of color suffered during WW2. However, if you're the type of person who feels things deeply, please take your time and be careful.

Favorite quote:

"Healing hands of the mothers of her mother, ancient mele chanters and tale weavers chorusing in Mother Tongue. They will gently bathe her, soothing her bones. They will rinse her hollows. Swaying on the ocean floor, they will turn, passing her nightmares from hand to hand like heirlooms. Her pain will be made bearable; they will bear it with her. 

Listening closely in those dreams, she will hear her mother's mother and that woman's mother, chant out how Sunny Sung became a woman, how she exacted ho'opa'i, revenge. And broken girls, that army of women in her blood, will rise beside the elders. In nights of sleeplessness, they will keep watch, turning the darkness womanful" (354).

A Simple Intention

2016. I just want to feel like a real person again.