Your Elders Have Got Jokes

If y'all need some hilarity in your lives, start having conversations with old school parents. Or just old school people period. I'm telling you, it will make your day. Most of the time they're not trying to be funny, they're just being honest. But that's what makes their quips golden.

This is what Ma had to say when I brought up the facts that 1) parents these days try to be nicer when disciplining their children, and 2) she never said the word "please" to me when I was a kid:

"I sho' didn't! 'Cause I don't be negotiating with no kids! People try to be friends with their kids, and then wonder why they don't listen and turn out with problems."

When I brought up how she would discipline me in public from time to time:

"Come on now, stop exaggerating. I didn't hit you THAT often in the grocery store. You turned out alright though, didn't you? Well then." 

And when I suggested we see Don Jon this weekend:

"Naw! I don't want to see no movie about some guy who's addicted to porn! I don't even know why he made that movie. What's the point?"

I can't breathe.