Road Trip. (Answered Prayer 3)

This is another story about answered prayer. Take it as you will.

Now I can finally tell you what happened today! After service with Grandpa this past Sunday, I found myself seated with my aunt at her dining room table while she prepared the spread for the afternoon's Memorial Day barbecue. With a knife, a bowl and potatoes in front of her she diced spuds for the potato salad while giving me another one of her auntie wisdom speeches. Life is about being happy, you should chase the desires God has put your my heart now while you're young and have little to no obligations holding me back... and so on. Booming throughout the house during this conversation was Kirk Franklin's latest album, Losing My Religion.

I've listened to Kirk Franklin's music my whole entire life. Whole. entire. life. Literally! I grew up on this man's music and have never not been a fan. However, I wasn't wowed by the first two singles from Losing My Religion, so I didn't jump on it right away when it was released in November. Having bought it six months late, I'm in awe at the artistic growth and the depth of conviction that pours from every sound on this album. For example, "Road Trip" is like my personal testimony with a nice foot-stomping groove. "My World Needs You" manages to meld desperation and joy in the same 7-minute song, and the climax sounds like a chorus of angels is crying out for the world. 

Anyway, this album and a recent Kevonstage video about Chance the Rapper have got me reflecting on Christians' duty to be open and to draw people in lovingly, and how so many of us have missed the point and striven to do the exact opposite. I was put on this earth to love, not to judge. And how can I claim to believe what I believe if I don't love people and show it? And how can I claim to love people if I don't pray for them? So all this week I've just been listening to this album, reading scriptures and praying. Listening, reading, praying. 

One of the people I prayed for was my best friend D, who called me on Memorial Day to tell me about yet another incident that's added to the troubles that've piled up for her in the past two years. But she talked about it with such humor in her voice, and right after our conversation I asked God to bless her resilient spirit and to put something in her life that would take her mind off of things and help her remain joyful. Cut to this afternoon, when my other friend S texts me at work inviting me on a trip to a beach on the other side of the state this weekend. D was welcome to come too! D and I were so unbelievably excited to have this spontaneous chance to get away and visit somewhere new, and when I thought about it I realized that this blessing was two-fold.

You see, I'm a traveler. I've visited a new place very year since freshman year of college, and I promised myself that I would keep this up. But this year my prospects haven't looked too good. Due to limited time off and a certain savings goal that I've set, going abroad hasn't been a viable option, and neither has the idea of spending a whole week in a city out of state like Ma and I have done last year and the year before. I tried to get Ma excited about Toronto, but she thought it would be too expensive and wouldn't help me with planning. Then I thought to get away to Baltimore and visit a friend there, but that friend's schedule ended up being too full. So I figured, Welp, maybe I just won't go anywhere this year. And then this happened. Yes, it's still in Michigan. Yes, it's only a weekend. But it's somewhere new! Not only that, but I don't have to plan anything, I don't have to arrange transportation, I don't have to pay for accommodation. I basically just have to show up. Easy!

And the thing is,  I should've prayed about this but I didn't. I honestly forgot. I was thinking about it so much that it didn't occur to me to pray about it. So I learned something new today. God's so funny and knowing that sometimes He'll answer prayers that you hadn't even thought to pray yet! All I can do is say "thank you" and laugh. Pack a smile, 'cause this road won't be easy, that's how Kirk Franklin's "Road Trip" begins. Well I'm going on my own road trip this weekend I'm going to smile as much as possible all the way!

This is going to sound bizarre, but even after spending so much time I don't know why I've written all of this. I'm not a prayer warrior (yet), I'm still plenty bitter and confused about some things. In short, I'm still learning. But I feel like I'm changing. And when I got that text about the trip I just felt called to write about prayer. Prayer doesn't always work the way you want it to, but I'm believing that it works. The answer to prayer may not always be clear or immediate or what you wanted it to be, but I'm believing that no prayer goes unanswered.

Answered Prayer 1

Answered Prayer 2

Sharing a Pew with Grandpa. (Answered Prayer 2)

This is another story about answered prayer. Take it as you will.

Ma and I went to Louisville for Memorial Day weekend. It was my first time seeing my relatives since the New Year and since getting my job. On Sunday morning we made our way to the same church our family's been attending for decades, and since most of the cousins my age weren't there, I sat next to my grandpa. We shared the hymnal during the responsive reading, with me softly reciting the words on the page while he mumbled along, not allowing himself to get frustrated about his eyes not following as quickly as he wanted. And while the rest of the congregation rose to sing "Leaning on the Everlasting Arms", I stayed seated next to him so we could harmonize as a duo. It was such a sweet moment. 

Around this time last year my grandpa got so sick that we feared he wouldn't make it. Stroke, pneumonia, weakened eyesight, foggy memory, inability to walk. Yet here he was sitting right next to me. Before last year I would have never seen him cry, or if I had I probably would've pretended not to see it. On Sunday he got emotional during a hymn, and I handed him my tissue packet while smiling directly in his face. Last year we considered it immense progress for him to be able to move along slowly with a walker. On Sunday he hightailed it in and out of church with his cane like it was nothing.

Of course, we can't take the credit for his recovery. All we know is that we prayed, we all made adjustments for him, and he's still here. Even though he'll probably never be the Grandpa he used to be, he's still exceeded everyone's expectations. And he's taken his time doing it. Almost 80 years old, and he's re-learning the same lessons that I'm just now learning. How to not be hard on himself. How to honor and appreciate rather than scorn his limits. How to let frustration pass as quickly as it comes. How to make the best of the way things are now. 

Pastor Sewell once declared in a sermon that we're all the product of someone else's prayers. I know now that Grandpa is a product of prayer. 

(I'm bringing it all back to square one in the next post. Stay tuned!)

Answered Prayer 1

That One Time God Gave Me a Job. (Answered Prayer 1)

This is a story about answered prayer. Take it as you will.

Something great and unexpected happened today, and thanks to it I've been inspired to write about prayer, which has been on my mind quite a lot in 2016. But before I can get to what happened today, I need to start with what happened during the first quarter of this year.

Back in December I quit my part-time job and willingly re-entered the danger zone of full-on unemployment. I didn't know what I was going to do and I couldn't be sure when something better would come along, but I knew I needed to quit so I did. Predictably, I overestimated my ability to withstand complete uncertainty and consistent rejection, and December, January, and February had me in a really low place. To my surprise I actually got an interview for a program in Japan, but I was so overwhelmed by how inadequate and inept I felt that after panicking for three days straight I backed out and cancelled. February was probably the worst month, now that I think about it. While I was greatly distressed, however, I was also learning a lot about faith. I'd started going to a new church in the fall, on New Year's Day I started a Bible In One Year reading plan, and then in February I joined my new church's praise and worship team. I've been a Christian my whole life, but since graduating from college I'd become bitter, doubtful, and despondent about many things. So through these habit changes I began to confront how I thought about myself, about life, about what I've been given and what I should do with it, about church, and about the Word itself.

The praise and worship thing was short-lived (maybe I'll go back soon). But before one of the services that I sang in, I heard a prayer that changed my life. During before-service prayer on February 28th, Paster Sewell prayed passionately about people who'd become bitter and cold-hearted due to life's disappointments, and about people who believe in God's power to transform and bring good things to others' lives but don't believe the same for their own. He kept repeating, "Soften our hearts, Lord. Open our eyes. Open our ears." He also prayed for all the unemployed in that sanctuary, encouraging us to ask God to give us jobs and place us where He sees fit. And I hunched over in my seat with head bowed, hands folded, and eyes closed, crying because I'd realized, Oh my goodness. He's talking about me. I am that hard-hearted person. I had plans to sing at the Music Hall Jazz Cafe jam session later that evening, and as usual I contemplated chickening out. But in that moment I prayed harder than I ever remember praying before, asking God to soften my heart, to give me direction, to open me up to what he's trying to say, to give me the courage to use the gifts He's given me as a vessel for all the good things that He wants to bring to people within my reach. After that, service was beautiful and I followed through at the jam session. That was enough for me, and I thought that was the end of it.

The very next day, Monday the 29th, I got an email from a nearby company that I'd applied to work for but then forgot about. The HR rep told me that the position that I applied for was no longer available, but there was a different position that they wanted to consider me for if I was interested. She interviewed me over the phone the next day, March 1st. The following Wednesday, I went in for an in-person interview. They called me the next day, March 10th, to tell me I was hired. And then my first day was on March 28th. For over 9 months I'd been applying and agonizing over finding full-time work, and exactly 1 month after I prayed that prayer, I had a job. Never directly applied for it, didn't submit a cover letter or references, didn't even know it existed until the HR rep contacted me. And now here I am, employed.

I tell this story to say this: Follow through. Seek guidance and follow through. Maybe you'll follow through and all you'll get out of it is being able to say that you did it. Or maybe you'll follow through and something extraordinary will happen, like it did for me. Either way, whatever you've been putting off, whatever might be uncomfortable or painful but that you know in your heart of hearts will be for your own good, pray about it and then do that thing. God is a provider who blesses preparation, but you have to follow through.

(Don't worry, I'm going to bring this back full circle. Got another prayer to write about, and then I'll let you know all about what happened today. Stay tuned!)