"Let your words be anything but empty"

Hers are the words that I sometimes wish someone would stop me on the street and say. I tear a little  every time I hear this song. Thank you, Sara.

Unconditional Love

"I love you just because you exist." - Dark Girls (2012) 

ドラマ (Dorama) Time! 3

Now that I've FINALLY finished 'Starman', I'll share my favorite from the last round before moving on to the current one. (I know, it's almost winter and I'm still evaluating dramas that I watched during the summer, but as usual schoolhasdevouredmylife so cut me some slack.) Now, as for the dramas I actually finished: 'Juui Dolittle' was great but a little corny at times. 'Gekiryuu' ended with nearly all the mysteries solved, and all the characters having endured challenging changes, learned life lessons, reconciled with their pasts and decided to move on. 'Starman' shifted its emphasis from science fiction to family/friend relationships and got a little sappy and silly toward the end, but overall the drama was still fantastic! So 'Starman' wins.

The following are dramas that I started either toward the end of summer or during this semester. This time around is going to be a little different, because I've already finished all the dramas below. I'll select the "winner" at the end.

Woman - NTV/2013

I honestly can't remember why I started watching this drama, other than because I read that its ratings were high and that Oguri Shun ('Juui Dolittle') was in it. 'Woman' is a heart-wrenching drama centered upon a single mother's struggle to come to terms with her husband's death, make ends meet, and raise two children with little help. She constantly puts herself last and endures one hardship after another, but she makes sure to put on a cheerful face in front of her children so that they don't worry. This drama is also about family, as the woman (named Koharu) reluctantly reconnects with her estranged mother, stepmother, and half-sister. The process of reconciliation incurs a number of setbacks, as Koharu learns some ugly truths about her father, discovers how her husband really died, and learns that she has cancer. It all sounds like a lot to handle, but what I loved about this show is that none of the dramatic moments or events are overdone. The acting is superb and the story is laid out in a realistic manner, putting the spotlight on a sector of the population (single moms) that doesn't tend to get as much attention in Japanese society.


Summer Nude - Fuji TV/2013

Literally, the only reason I started watching this drama was because Karina is in it. She's a very recognizable actress and she's one of my favorites. I really didn't know or care what the drama was about until I watched the first episode. After watching I realized that the show featured Yamashita Tomohisa ("Yamapi") as its male lead, whom I vaguely recognized as a popular singer-songwriter/idol-turned-actor. So basically, given its cast (which includes another favorite actress of mine named Itaya Yuka),  'Summer Nude' was expected to be a summer hit. The show is a light-hearted romantic comedy about love and friendship. Karina plays Natsuki, a chef who quits her career to become a wife, but is left by her groom on her wedding day. Asahi (Yamashita), a photographer, snaps a photo of her at the worst moment of her life. Afterwards, Natsuki retreats to a beachside town to run an old friend's restaurant for the summer and sort her life out. Asahi also lives there, and the two become acquainted through their shared group of friends. What follows amongst this group of young friends is a number of love triangles, confessions of unrequited love, an inability to move on from past relationships or failures, and some determined steps taken by each character toward following their dreams. Moving along at a steady pace, this drama is very easy to watch and features a number of storylines that help you feel connected to each character in some way. The only thing I don't get is the show's title. What in the world is 'Summer Nude' supposed to mean? Maybe because summer is a time for letting go of inhibitions and exploring possibilities, "nude" is supposed to represent being free, open, and vulnerable? That's just a guess, but I really have no clue.


Legal High (リーガルハイ) - Fuji TV/2012

Last but not least is this fun legal drama/comedy. I read the hype about this drama when it first came out. But the lead actress (Aragaki Yui) had also played a lawyer a couple dramas before this one, and since I'd just watched that show, I didn't want to see what I thought would be the same role played over again. Oh, was I wrong! Rather than a domineering career woman, Aragaki plays a rookie lawyer who has high ideals concerning justice and morality. After leaving her first law firm, Mayuzumi Machiko ends up becoming the associate of Komikado-sensei, known as Tokyo's top lawyer who has never lost a case. Though he is an excellent lawyer, he's also a petty, rude, conceited, insufferable know-it-all who's not above tricking people or paying bribes to win his cases. He also only takes on cases from which he knows he'll receive an exorbitant fee to fund his wealthy lifestyle. The two constantly bicker while battling against their mutual enemy, the firm for whom both Mayuzumi and Komikado used to work. This drama is refreshing because not only is a different societal issue addressed in each episode, but this comedy is actually funny! I don't remember watching any other Japanese drama that's made me laugh so much.  I will definitely be watching this show's second season, which actually just ended yesterday.

It's tough to pick my favorite this time around because all of these shows were wonderful in their own way. In terms of which drama held my attention most, I'd have to go with 'Legal High'. But because it reminded me of my mom and her struggles as a single mom, 'Woman' comes at a close second.

BOOKS! (The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea)

This is only my intoduction to Mishima's work, but I can already tell why he's regarded as one of Japan's most important 20th-century authors. In this book he displays a mastery of descriptive writing and a remarkable ability to make commonplace situations violent and absurd. A woman who's lived as a widow for five years with her 13-year-old son falls in love with a sailor and decides to marry him, but her son rejects both the sailor and the relationship. Sounds ordinary, right? Try that when the woman fools herself into believing that her life is wholesome, the sailor can't give up his obsession with the sea, and the kid is a voyeur who has teenage sadists for friends.

The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea by Yukio Mishima

13-year-old Noboru idealizes the sailor and the sea. The one, masculine, is the ultimate emblem of manliness. The other, feminine, is both a temptress and the ultimate emblem of freedom.

He hangs out with a group of intelligent yet morbid and cruel boys his age who reject the adult world and are obsessed with objectivity, death, blood sacrifice, and (sick-and-twisted) heroism. They have ideals that are impossible for adults or any other simple humans to satisfy, let alone understand. They are convinced that they are geniuses and that they control the world and reality, which are both certainly and irreparably empty. Also, they have a particularly unyielding disdain for fathers.

As the owner of a luxury clothing store, Noboru's mother Fusako lives by pretense, image, and style. But when she meets a sailor named Ryuji, she develops a sexual relationship with him which quickly becomes romantic and serious. She then finds herself struggling internally. On the one hand, she wants to be a respectable widow, mother,  and businesswoman. On the other, she desperately needs to assuage her loneliness by giving herself physically and emotionally to the man she loves.

Noboru and his mom's lover have one point in common, in that they both see the sea as a gateway to the infinite. Ryuji has derived his identity as a man from his life at sea. He draws correlations between manhood/glory, glory/the sea, the sea/freedom, love/death, glory/death, and woman/glory/death. All of these concepts are inseparable in his mind. He settles down with Fusako, but he still feels the sea calling him and is not sure if he made the right decision to give up the sailor's life.

Noboru's disdain for Ryuji grows as he becomes more involved with Fusako, moves in, and assumes the role of man of the house. Not only has he intruded upon Noboru's life and territory, but the once-bright heroic sailor has degenerated into a mere lowly "landsman". His resentment toward his mom and soon-to-be stepdad is intensified by the fact that Noboru has been spying on them having sex from the very beginning. When the couple announce their marriage to Noboru, he and his comrades agree that the sailor must be destroyed. I'll choose not to spoil what happens in the end.

This book is beautifully written. So beautifully that the intense moments of yearning and violence ebb and flow to the reader seamlessly and almost unexpectedly, like waves. It's not terribly difficult to get through, but it can take a while to understand what all is going on and get a grasp of each character's story/mentality. If you want a concise yet profound read that will leave you asking "What in the world did I just read?!" at the end, this is for you.

Favorite quotes:

"...essentially he belonged neither to the land nor to the sea. Possibly a man who hates the land should dwell on shore forever. Alienation and the long voyages at sea will compel him once again to dream of it, torment him with the absurdity of longing for something that he loathes. Ryuji hated the immobility of the land, the eternally unchanging surfaces. But a ship was another kind of prison" (p. 16).

"[Fathers] stand in the way of our progress while they try to burden us with their inferiority complexes, and their unrealized aspirations, and their resentments, and their ideals, and the weaknesses they've never told anyone about, and their sins, and their sweeter-than-honey dreams, and the maxims they've never had the courage to live by─they'd like to unload all that silly crap on us, all of it!" (p. 136-137).

Santazilla

So... these folks play no games.

Sessions with Sue 3

Today we mostly talked about my habit of denying myself and suppressing my musical passions in favor of safer, more quantifiable options. I'm fearful and I'm too serious, and that part of me often dominates over what can be healthy for me. Here are a few notes that I took from our conversation:

• Need to build trust in yourself, to know that what you believe in won't be taken from you so easily.
• All you need to know is "I want to sing." Own it. You're not an imposter or faking it. It belongs to you. Put it out there, and the universe will open up for you.
• PLANT THE SEED! (And don't make excuses.)
• If you could internalize "I'm smart, I'm a good student," why can't you internalize "I love to sing, I'm a good singer"?
• One day, you'll get to a place where you're not afraid of your father's anger.
• Great artists take pain and turn it into something that's manageable.
• Maybe you're not as fragile as you think you are.
• You deserve more than one tissue; that's what therapy's about.

Deck the Door

Whaa? The lady who never decorates for Christmas got a wreath?? With baubles? AND bells?? Ma's moving on up!