BOOKS! (Love Letters to Balled Fists)

This is the first book of poetry that I've read in a while. I profoundly respect poetry as an art form but often have difficulty understanding it, so I'm not the most well-versed in that sphere of wordsmithery. Spoken word especially has fascinated, dumbfounded, and challenged me as I've been exposed to it more over the past four years. So it's with great pleasure today that I discuss this book of poems by slam poet Ebony Stewart, the "Gully Princess" herself, whom I've had the honor of meeting in person.

Love Letters to Balled Fists by Ebony Stewart

I first witnessed Ebony Stewart in action at a poetry slam at my university back in October. Following the show I waited in line to ask her about building confidence as a performer, and also to purchase a copy of this book. She signed mine,  "Thank you. Shine your light, mama!", and inserted a business card with a black-and-white photo of herself on one side and the charge "KEEP CALM AND WRITE A POEM" printed on the back. From the moment I first heard her perform, to when she signed my book and gave me advice, to following her work online, to having read Love Letters to Balled Fists just now, Ebony Stewart has been a huge inspirational force in my life. When I met her she was both spoken word poet and middle school sexual health teacher, but I hear that as of this year she's transitioned and is now living and working as a full-time artist.

Love Letters to Balled Fists features 33 poems, separated into thematic sections by quotes from people who Ebony admires. The poems center on becoming/being a woman; what Ebony's learned from various people in her life, especially other women; experiences with love, breakups, and heartache; fear, loss, and pain; finding her way in life; her work as a sex ed teacher; the power of words; artistry; and her defense mechanisms, whether they be built-up walls or−yes indeed−balled fists. You get a sense from most of these poems that she's been through some things, and is really just trying to love herself back to life and fight to keep living. As such, the title she chose for this book is more than fitting.

I was happy to recognize three poems that I remember her performing at the poetry slam last year: "Number One Fan", which is about responding to an ex-lover who came out of the woodwork once he saw that she was becoming successful, "Cupcakes" in which she extols the virtues of her favorite food, and "Anonymous Box Questions a 6th Grade Boys Group Asks Their Sex Education Teacher", in which she addresses sexual practices, sexual identity, and self-love in response to a few of her adolescent students' questions. My personal favorites from this collection are "Backwards Driving", which addresses the struggle of feeling lost, inadequate, and unsatisfied in life, "Stalemate", which voices a woman's struggle with accepting the devastation of infertility, and "The Pretender" in which she, expecting the other shoe to drop, lambasts her lover for not giving up on her even when she pushes him away.

Affecting. If I had to choose one word to describe this work, that would be it. Find a way to get your hands on this book, but prepare to have Ebony's words break your heart a time or two as you read.

Favorite quotes:

"if I close my eyes quick enough, I can play a reel of my mother.

I've got too many poems about her and I don't care.

Since when are there too many stars in the sky?

She loves me more than I pay attention to how or why" (Backwards Driving, p.5)

"For anyone who has to come behind him,

I'm sorry it won't be easy.

Can you love me in a way we can both agree on?

Only use words I can recognize and please don't use mine 

against me

...Let the only time you raise your voice be to remind God that I am a good thing

and you are blessed because of it" (Domestic, p. 15)

"[I know that] the body is a memory;

that I write to calm the shadows and to keep from swallowing my demons" (How to Make Poetry, p.83)

Smoothie Tuesday (Vegan "Orange Julius")

Orange. Banana. Orange Juice. Almond Milk. Ice. Bam. Vegan "Orange Julius", according to Blogilates. Tastes just like the real thing (if anyone even remembers the real thing? Is Orange Julius even a "thing" anymore? Anywhoo...). A little pulpy, but otherwise it tastes like a dream.


Check out pics of other foodventures here:

Peace, Love, and Food (Every Now and Then)

Pizza from Scratch!

A day late from my usual routine, but it's all good! Today I made my first pizza! This was yet another Food Heaven Made Easy recipe, one they call "Roasted Tomato Thin Crusted Pizza" and includes crust made from scratch.

For the crust, mix whole wheat flower, salt, and active dry yeast in a bowl. Add vegetable oil (I used canola), hot water, and honey. Once the mixture starts consolidating, use your hands to shape it into a ball, working it for about 5 minutes. Then cover the top of the bowl with three
wet paper towels, cover the whole thing with a plastic bag, and let it sit for at least 1.5 hours (I let it set for 2.5).

Just about when it was time to uncover the dough, I sauteed 2 cups of kale with some garlic in one pan. I fried some bacon in the other, 'cause, you know, Ma just loves her meats. Then I poured out a light layer of flour on the counter and rolled the dough out with my hands. We just so happen to have a pizza pan, so I put the dough on that and shaped it to fit. Then I layered on some tomato sauce, followed by the kale with garlic, followed by about 8 sliced grape tomatoes, followed by mozzarella cheese, and last but not least, Ma's precious bacon on her half. Put the pizza in oven, bake for 12 minutes, and done. 

Overall, this pizza looks and tastes great! The recipe is supposed to be thin crust, and while my pizza itself is thin crust, the outer crust is not. It's soft and doughy.... and it's just aight. The taste, texture, and consistency are more akin to a thick piece of wheat bread than pizza crust. (Plus it's whole wheat and not full of all that salt and butter lovin' that restaurant pizzas have to offer.) Maybe if I'd used a baking sheet instead of a pizza pan so I could spread the dough out more, the crust would've turned out thinner around its edges. Eh well. Note for the next time. But again, I'm incredibly proud of this pizza! Glad that this first time turned out to be a charm.

Check out pics of other foodventures here:

Peace, Love, and Food (Every Now and Then)

Employee Appreciation Potluck

They mentioned to me on my first day that as part of employee appreciation week, there'd be a potluck in the break room this weekend. When I looked at the sign-up sheet I mistakenly read that it would be on Friday and Saturday, so imagine what a pleasant surprise it was to walk in for my shift today and see this table full of free food. First the extra discount, and now FREE FOOD! Looks like I joined the team during quite the lucky week.

I helped myself to two mini sub sandwiches, and two of the most scrumptious cupcake I've ever had in my life!  One of the girls made cupcakes with yellow cake, chocolate icing,  and chocolate chip cookie dough in the center. Cookie dough inside of a cupcake, y'all! I'd never even heard of anything like that before! It was too good, I tell you. Too. Good. What a nice way to cap off my first week on the job.

Pretty good day

Summary of my fourth day of work, second day at the cash register.

Smoothie Tuesday (Pomegranate Power)

Today's treat is an improvisation of Blogilates' "Fig Power Smoothie". When I went to the store the other day I couldn't find any figs, so I got a pomegranate as an alternative. I used these instructions to figure out how to cut and de-seed it. Pomegranates are cool to marvel at on the inside once you open them up, but be careful! They're easy to cut and pull apart, but the seeds are known to squirt and stain. My advice to you is to not wear anything you care about while working with one, and be sure to promptly wipe the surfaces on which you cut it.The only other adjustment I made was using cherries instead of strawberries, since that's what I had in stock. I threw together the seeds of 1 pomegranate,  1/2 cup of chopped mango, 10-ish cherries, 1 tablespoon of peanut butter, 1 cup of almond milk, and ice. Blend, et voila.

This smoothie is... interesting. It certainly tastes delightful. And I actually like the crunch of the pomegranate seeds because they remind me of those bubbles that burst in your mouth that you can get put in your boba─except pomegranate seeds are smaller, crunchier, and not as juicy. But the smoothie's got this odd peanut butter smell (thankfully the taste of it isn't as strong as the smell) that's just... odd. Not bad, but odd. I'm sure that putting peanut butter in smoothies isn't a new thing, but the fruity taste and the nutty smell just don't match in my head. It's almost puzzling. I guess I just need experiment using peanut butter more often so I can get used to it. Maybe try the original recipe as is.

Absolutely love the crunch, though! (Pro-tip: Anytime you want, you can just take the seeds fresh out of a pomegranate and eat them as a snack.) And it tastes great just like all the other Blogilates' smoothie recipes I've tried. I would definitely recommend this one if you're looking to try something different.

 Check out pics of other foodventures here:

Peace, Love, and Food (Every Now and Then)

My First Job! :)

So... today was the first day of my first job ever! As of today, I'm working part-time at a certain bookstore near my hometown. It's a small start, and I'm overwhelmed with information after today's orientation, but I'm so very excited! Deela? The bookworm? Working in a bookstore? That's a no-brainer, and a surprise to no one who knows me. It's a perfect fit. I'm just really looking forward to learning and being able to contribute. Plus, I think having to work as part of a team and interact with customers on a daily basis will help boost by confidence in regard to social interactions.

It's funny because nothing about this post-grad life has worked out the way I'd originally envisioned, but at the same time things are working out just fine. The week before graduation I applied for this job, two days after graduation I went in for the first interview, the following week I went in for the second interview and was offered the job, and then I had orientation today. So finding employment three weeks after graduating isn't too shabby, I would say. It's a start. It's a start! And I don't know where any of this is leading me, but I feel good about the direction in which I'm going.  Here's to new beginnings and happy Mondays, y'all!