Night Walk 1

The marching band exits the stadium en masse. One of the sousaphonists is in good spirits and plays "Single Ladies" as he walks home.

While crossing the street, a guy asks two girls whom he does not know in passing, "Wanna get damn near naked?"
He gets giggles in response. Not "Grow up." Not disgust. Not outrage. Giggles. Apparently his behavior is acceptable.

Crickets and other flying, creeping things that make noise in the night. Stirring, fussing, arguing, buzzing, singing. I had not noticed them here before.

A group of guys, followed by a straggler with a wardrobe malfunction.
"Wait up! Dude, my pants ripped."
"Hey, just use that as an excuse to get laid."
Apparently this is funny and acceptable.

More flying, creeping things that make noise in the night. I return "home", tired.

My Assignment for Life

"You must do your best to make it better." -Ma

Surprised by The Butler

Before I forget, I thought I'd take some time to tell y'all about a movie that I saw last week. You might've heard about it recently. It's called The Butler.

Seen Friday August 16th: The Butler

A man goes from being a sharecropper's son to serving 34 years as a butler in the White House, earning the trust and respect of 7 presidents. Serving from the mid 1950s to late 1980s, he experiences tumultuous times in American history twofold, witnessing both important decision-making at work and the effect of the Civil Rights Movement on his family at home. Based on a true story.

"One quiet voice can ignite a revolution."

 What I really like about this movie: The cast is perfect. Forest Whitaker plays the titular character, of course. It features an abundance of other brilliant actors and entertainers, and I don't think a single part was miscast. I was a little confused as to why they had Professor Snape playing Ronald Reagan, but even that proved to be a great decision.

You also get a nice lesson on Black history which, as the film presents it, is also American history. The passing of time in The Butler is executed in a similar style to that used in Forrest Gump. Popular figures and familiar television images appear to mark each passing era. Movements, trends, and important events are re-enacted, reflected in clothing and hairstyles, or mentioned in succinct and hard-hitting conversations. All of this is done in order to make the audience  more deeply invested in the past with each passing scene.

Overall, The Butler is so much more moving and intriguing than I'd expected it would be. I even cried at the end, and films rarely make me cry.  I predict there'll be a lot of debate among black folks about the concept of the "house negro" or the "Uncle Tom" due to this film. Of course, there are times when one must break the status quo and fight for what is right. However, I think this film has an equally important message about what it means to be a hero and what it means to serve. People laud "service" as a mark of a person's humanity, but often look down on "servants". But the most significant piece of wisdom I gained from The Butler is that you have to have a certain heart in order to serve others for so long with a cheerful attitude and be good at it.  Even if it means being disrespected by your family. Even if it means serving people whose actions counter your needs and beliefs. Even if it means not being appreciated. That's a lesson that I think many Americans could benefit from learning.

What I don't like about this movie: Nothing that needs to be expounded upon.

Would I recommend it?:  Absolutely!

I made this two days ago.

I guess you can call this a frittata?

 

NO Moping.

Everytime I try to sit down and mope about going back to school, someone waddles her way onto my lap like "Nuh-uh. Now is not the time."

Control

On Monday I got a new phone and I decided to give a weight loss app called Noom a try. When I first signed on, it offered me a list of preference and behavior statements for me to check off so that "Noom coach" could better administer my program . One of the statements was, "I cook my own meals; I have control over what I eat." I read this and thought, That's an odd way to put it. Technically, doesn't everyone have control over what they eat? To eat: see food, pick up food, put food in mouth, chew and swallow, repeat as needed. To not eat: Stop at step 1. These are actions every person controls, right?

I'm learning that the answer to that question is: Yes and no.

Cut to my yoga class Wednesday evening. While kicking our behinds in that 85°F room, out of
nowhere our teacher started talking about cravings, which are connected to habits. He said that oftentimes what people crave isn't the habit itself, but what they get from the habit (how it makes them feel, etc.). Once you get to the root of the craving and figure out what it is that you're seeking, you can change the habit.

Cut then to Wednesday night, my first trip to the grocery store since returning to the States. Walking along the aisles and picking from amongst the foods that were on display, I was reminded of my time in Japan. I firmly believe that going to Japan was one of the best things I've ever done, one reason being that it changed my relationship with food. I already mentioned a few weeks ago how my eating habits changed: fewer starches, more fruits and vegetables,  more protein, little dairy, little snacking, no junk food, a lot more water, fresher food and smaller portions overall. On top of that, I wasn't thinking about food all the time, and I learned that I didn't need certain foods like I'd thought I did before. During those two months I was eating better than I've ever eaten in my life.

Since coming back, I've realized that now I literally cannot eat the way I used to eat anymore. My body will not take it. I don't think the same thoughts or feel the same emotions when I try eating what I used to eat.  I eat some foods and feel heavy and sad; I get nauseous or even gag a little. Things taste worse and look less appetizing than I remember. Portions are bigger than I remember. I can walk away from food a little easier than I remember. It's like I've become a different person.

Being in that grocery store also made me recall the foods I hated but grew to enjoy (or tolerate) in just the past year: tomatoes, sweet tea, cherries, ginger, avocados, hummus, (beans), (cilantro), (olives). When I was younger I  reserved lifetime spots on my "Never gonna like it" list for these foods. Now I can eat them with little to no hesitation. My tastes changed, and I didn't even have to try that hard to make it happen. I let it happen.

I write all of this to say that I'm beginning to understand something really important about food: People have control over the basic action of eating, but not everyone has control over the practice of eating like they should. I think this is due to having limited options, and/or being stagnated by habits that don't serve them. Some folks have been divested of control over what they eat, and they don't even realize it. As people grow older, their tastes change along with them. And as people start examining their habits, the way they think and feel about food should change as well. So don't be afraid to try new foods and take a good discerning look at exactly how and what you're eating. That's how you regain control.

You might think as you read this, What does this fat chick know, trying to speak wisdom about food? And you'd be justified in thinking such a thing. Given the predicament that I'm in, I don't really have any right to lecture anyone on nutrition. But I can share what I'm learning, and I'm learning that everyone needs to ask themselves this question from time to time:


Do I have control over what I eat?

More Words from the Yin Yoga Teacher

"Be a silent witness to your own thinking."
[You are not your thoughts. Notice them, but don't let them consume you.]

"Discomfort is where the magic happens."
[Don't always try to avoid feeling discomfort.]

"Letting sensation guide you rather than the mind, you will never be injured. You will never be disappointed."
[Your body knows what it needs. Feeling is the gateway to the present.]