(Unintentionally?) Racist things my classmates said this summer.

Though I started writing this post in June, I hesitated about whether I wanted to publish it or not. But once I returned to the States, realized I wasn't in a dream anymore, and really started reflecting on things that happened to me while I was in Japan, I felt like it was necessary for me to put this out. One of the reasons I started this blog was so that I could learn to be more honest about my thoughts and feelings. Therefore, this is an honest experience that I must share.

Most of the students at JCMU were white. I can only speak for myself, but it's been my experience that most white people don't tend to be very conscious of their ignorance, nor of the underlying meanings of the words they say. (Granted, this can be said of all people to some extent, but for the sake of this post we'll just stick to white people for now.) I offer the following conversations as prime examples.

June 3rd
Male classmate C: For your sake, I hope your host family's not afraid of black people.

Me (thinking): Right, since I'm black, it naturally follows that people would be afraid of me. Because black people are just soooo scary. And what do you mean "for my sake"? What would you know about it? You don't know me, and you certainly couldn't care less about any struggles I might have because of my race. Shut up. Don't patronize me.

 

Me (out loud):   ...Uh thanks....

My Roommate M: Well you're not even going to have to worry about that. Come on, you're basically white. You know what I mean.

So... quiet + motivated + respectful + considerate + speaks "proper" English +intelligent + disciplined = not black = white. Whatever. Is that supposed to be a compliment? You don't even realize how much of an insult that is. "I know you're black, but you don't act like other black people, the real black people, the bad black people, the scary black people. Of course they'll like you, because you're basically white, which is better isn't it?" Listen. Just because, by coincidence, I happen to be more accessible to you than other black people are, that doesn't make me any less black and certainly doesn't mean you know what I'm about. I don't need your approval and I certainly don't want your honorary "white" card. That stupid thing would be useless anyway, because everyday I wake up, I'm black. Proudly, beautifully and unchangeably black. In case you hadn't noticed.

June 7th

Half-Indian female classmate: I'm studying biology and international relations.

My roommate M: Wow, you must be smart.

Half-Indian female classmate: Haha, not really. Try telling that to my parents.

My roommate M: Of course you're smart. It's in your genes.

I don't even need to explain how this is wrong, now do I?

June 21st

Me: I'm excited about visiting an elementary school, but I'll be with 5th and 6th graders. Hopefully they won't be as evil as American middle schoolers can be.

Male classmate E: Well, they'll probably be afraid of you anyway, so I don't think you'll have to worry about that.

Oh really? You're just going to insult two entire ethnic peoples like that? First it's the whole "You're black and black people are scary, so naturally people would be afraid of you" BS. Then it's the "Most Japanese people haven't met a black person before, so they couldn't possibly have the human capacity to treat you with respect or try to get along with you. Besides, they'd be too shocked and scared" BS. You sir, have no idea what you're talking about.

Please know that the three people quoted above are probably good people. I say "probably" because I never got to know them enough to know for sure. I only have these three instances to write about because by the 2nd or 3rd week over there I realized that I wasn't interested in getting to know most of my fellow students on any level, and I kept my distance. This wasn't strictly because they were white. Although, I will admit that being in college has decreased my patience for dealing with white people, and sometimes that leads me to count them out before giving them a chance. I'm struggling to correct this, so please bear with me.

Also, I don't know these young people enough to call them racist, however one might define the term. But even "non-racist" people can say racist things and have racist thoughts.  I write all of this not to attack these three individuals, but to give examples of wrong things that white people often say and don't realize are wrong. And whether they meant it that way or not, what these three said was wrong.

Gateway to the Present

Today was my first time back at my local yoga studio, and during Yin class the instructor said something profound as she often does. I don't completely understand it yet but I know that what she said was meant for me, and that I need to share it with you:

"Feeling is the gateway to the present. Thinking is not. You cannot thing your way into the present."

I made it back.

I made it from Hikone to Maibara to Nagoya to Detroit to my mom's couch with no problem! Now, whether I like it or not, it's back to reality.

If you recall I bought myself a pin from Hikone Castle a few weeks ago, and I said that there was a specific reason for doing that. Well meet Renee, my MSU bear. Renee wears a tie. While I was in Japan I was thinking of what I could get myself as a lasting reminder of my time there, and I figured why not get a pin to add to Renee's tie? I could make a tradition out of adding pins to mark my adventures abroad! I'm going to try to keep this up as I travel more.

It's bittersweet to think that this is my last "70 Days in Kansai" post. But I've returned from Japan, and it's only fitting that I end this series. On to the next one... after I get some sleep.



70 Days in Kansai photos (JULY/AUGUST) \
 70 Days in Kansai photos (JUNE)

Things People Give Me #7

Ivy sent me this message on Facebook about an hour ago. I  don't know what I did to deserve these words. When reading it I thought she was talking about someone else. I'll confess that I always get a little uncomfortable when people say nice things to me about me. I don't know how to handle it. When I was younger it was because I thought people were just being nice and I couldn't tell who was lying to me or not. Now, it's because I've gotten used to brushing compliments off that I don't know how to accept them. This is a bad habit that I'm working on. In the meantime, I want to share Ivy's message with you.

I realize you're probably packing/getting ready for the trip back to the US right now, but I wanted to send a message before we leave this country.

It would've been probably a lot better if I had written this out by hand, so I apologize for that. 

I wanted to thank you for all the conversations we were able to have and the experiences we shared! I know I can be pretty overbearing and admittedly quite loud at times, but you always put up with me. I want you to know that I really look up to you and your solidarity in pursuing your goals and keeping time for yourself. You were always so calm and collected (I know you're going to object to this, but I promise you it is true!!) and also confident in your abilities and yourself, and I think it really showed to everyone in this program. I could tell that you really believed in yourself, even when studying began to get the better of you, and I think this was apparent to everyone around you :)

Unlike a lot of people nowadays (and myself, I will also admit), I feel like you did things for a very pure reason - that it was right - than to please others or show off or et cetera.

I loved reading your blog, as you must know by me mentioning it all the time, and also talking to you about your experiences and future. I always admire people who know what they want in life. :) All the best of luck in France next year!!! It's early, but... never too early to wish good luck, I guess :)

Hopefully you get some much-deserved sleep tonight and have a safe trip tomorrow! :) let's keep in touch back in the US, ok? If you're not too busy solving the world's problems and becoming the next Crystal Kay, that is. ^_^

All the best,

Ivy

Thank you, Ivy. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

My Last Day in Japan.

My last day in Japan has come and gone, and I want to tell y'all about it.

The day started with JCMU's closing ceremony. A representative from each class level gave a speech, which of course meant I had to give one too. (I had the option not to make a speech, but it was presented to me in a "Well you don't have to do one, but we'd like it if you did" kind of way. So even though I agreed to do it, I didn't actually have a choice. But I figured hey, this is my last chance to use my Japanese for something important, so why not.) Everything went well. We received our certificates, the director gave a speech, student representatives gave their speeches, and that was it. Short and sweet. Afterward there was a "party" for staff, students, and host families to mingle together and celebrate the students' hard work. I was able to take pictures with all three of my senseis, so no I can finally introduce them to you!

Matsushima-sensei was the instructor in charge of the fourth level, so I spent most of my time with her. She teaches in New York City, is very cultured and has this chic, cool, sophisticated air about her, but she's also extremely approachable. I found her to be surprisingly patient and understanding, and during those times when our conversations digressed from the course material I was amazed by the fascinating things she had to say about cultural studies, film studies, and other topics and issues that she knows a lot about. Matsushima-sensei is one of the most fascinating people I've ever met. Even though being in a class by myself was extremely lonely at times, I'm thankful that I had the opportunity to learn from her.

Next is Melville-sensei, who taught reading comprehension. Melville-sensei is... something else. She's incredibly animated and is louder than most other Japanese women I've met. In class she would go from joking about something loudly to speaking in a low voice about something serious in a split second, and those highs and lows could be intimidating at times. She also likes to push people to think clearly and develop their ideas, which was often frustrating but proved beneficial to me.   Once I got used to her, I realized that she is actually a really amiable person who wants her students to succeed.

Last but not least is Aizawa-sensei, who also taught reading comprehension. I really enjoyed having Aizawa-sensei as an instructor because in each class period he'd start these really interesting discussions, often about things that had nothing to do with the reading at hand. We would share our opinions about literature, cultural differences, word meanings, interpretations of course readings, social issues, and so on. He lived in the US for a number of years at one point so he understands a lot about America, but sometimes he would still ask me about American culture or even Black culture and I really appreciated that he was interested in what I had to say. He's also excellent at helping concepts get across to students, so with his help understanding the readings was a little easier.

After the party ended I went to my room to change my clothes, then hopped on my bike to go get one last look at Lake Biwa. While there I shot a vlog! And it's under 10 minutes! I'm getting better y'all.

 

 

 
 
Afterward I returned to JCMU to turn my bike and helmet in. Then eight of us students went to Viva City mall to eat at a restaurant called Family Viking. (In Japan, they call buffets "Viking" or "baikingu".) This place was an all-you-can-eat tofu buffet, so all the food was either made from tofu or had tofu in it. It was much more tasty than it sounds. In fact, it was fantastic! I wasn't much in the mood for eating though, so I only had two plates and dessert, but I enjoyed everything I did eat.

Once we returned I came back to my room, wrote about yesterday, had my final Skype date with Ma, and now I'm writing about today. And tomorrow I'll be up bright and early so I can head to Nagoya and fly back to Detroit. When it's time to go, it's time to go. I've accepted that, so I'm not sad that I'm leaving. This summer definitely didn't turn out how I thought it would, but I can honestly say that my life is different now and I'll never forget this time I've spent in here Japan. I know I'll be back.

 

70 Days in Kansai photos (JULY/AUGUST) \
 70 Days in Kansai photos (JUNE)
 

Kaiyukan and Kindness in Osaka

Yesterday after taking our respective final exams (yes, we had exams on a Saturday) five of us girls went to Osaka one last time to go to Kaiyukan! 海遊館 (Kaiyuukan) is one of the largest aquariums in the world, and it was the only place I'd wanted to go to that I didn't get to visit the last time I was in Osaka.

Honestly, I don't have much to say about Kaiyukan. The pictures, though not the clearest, will speak for themselves. I will say that I had a great time! I've loved animals ever since I was little, and watching them always puts me in a great mood. There's plenty to marvel at in Kaiyukan, so there's really no reason for anyone not to enjoy themselves here. And the ¥2300  ($23) ticket price certainly won't burn a hole in your pocket. If you're ever in Osaka, Kaiyukan is worth a visit!

 

After we'd gone through the whole aquarium we walked behind the building to look out over Osaka Bay for a while before leaving. We'd planned on eating okonomiyaki and takoyaki since we were in Osaka, but by the time we left Kaiyukan we were so tired and hungry that it didn't matter to us what we ate. So after getting to Osaka Station we ended up eating at some Italian restaurant in  Umeda Station (the next building over). Then we returned to Osaka Station to board a train for Hikone.

Sorry if this post is a little anticlimactic. However, before I end this I'd like to share a couple encounters that I had with two Japanese women while I was in Osaka.

The first was on the train to Osakako (the station down the street from Kaiyukan). Most of the girls in my group were seated but I stood in the aisle. All of a sudden I felt someone tap me. I thought it might've been a little kid, but I turned around to see a middle-aged Japanese woman looking up at me from her seat.

Lady (in English): Where going?
Me (in Japanese): Excuse me?
Lady : Don't you speak English?
Me (in English): Yes, I do.
Lady : So, where going? Sea World?
Me (in Japanese): You mean Kaiyukan?
Lady (in Japanese): Oh, you understand Japanese. [Continues in English anyway] Next two stops, get off on right side.
Me (in Japanese): Got it. Thank you very much!

I know this sounds crazy, but I've been riding trains and subways all this time and not one Japanese person has ever spoken to me in transit. So I didn't know what to make of what happened, other than that I was lucky enough to board the same train as a nice lady who just wanted to make sure I wouldn't get lost.

The second encounter occurred at Umeda Station. While heading back to Osaka Station I saw a Books Kinokuniya store out of the corner of my eye. I'd been looking for the same book for the past 3 days (Kyoufu Collection by Atouda Takashi), and I figured I'd give it another shot. It was after 9pm, but the enormous bookstore was still open and crowded. I found a computer kiosk to look up the book and though it took me a minute or two to figure out how to use the search engine, I got the hang of it. While I was at it some 30-something-year-old woman walked up and offered to help me. I  thanked her and said I was fine, and she just nodded, smiled warmly and walked away. I know this doesn't sound all that spectacular. But this lady didn't work at the store, she was just another customer who could've passed me by without a thought like most Japanese people do. But she didn't, and that really surprised me in a good way. Oh, and unfortunately I never ended up finding that book.

My friend Fumiko told me that Kansai people are nicer than Kanto people, and that people in Osaka are the kindest of all. Maybe there was truth to what she said.


70 Days in Kansai photos (JULY/AUGUST) \
 70 Days in Kansai photos (JUNE)

雨みたいや！It looks like rain!

I went to Hikone's Great Firework Festival (彦根大花火大会/Hikone Dai-hanabi Taikai) yesterday! The fireworks were held right on Lake Biwa at Matsubara Beach, so all I had to do was leave my building and walk a few minutes to get there. I sat in a prime spot right across the water from the boat that the fireworks were shot from. The show was divided into parts, each of which had a theme and featured displays from firework companies from all over Japan.

Granted, this was only my first time watching fireworks in Japan, but I have to say that American firework shows just do not compare. The ones I saw yesterday were much brighter and the colors were more vibrant. There was a greater variety of styles and the executions were sharper. And there were actual shapes and pictures! For example:

Mushroom

 

 

Hikonyan

 

Sunflower

Some of the displays were so enormous that you couldn't see them in their entirety all at once. You had to scan from one end to the other to take all of it in. Then when they faded and the remaining fire fell toward the water, it was as one little Japanese boy near me put it, "雨みたいや!" (Ame mitai ya!/ "It looks like rain!").  The whole show was stunning. I took about 50 photos of the fireworks, so as usual follow the link below to see the rest!


70 Days in Kansai photos (JULY/AUGUST) \
 70 Days in Kansai photos (JUNE)