Spring Break

Spending the day with this sweet old lady, then off on an adventure starting tomorrow....

BOOKS! (Breath, Eyes, Memory)

I came across this book on my birthday and was only mildly intrigued when I got it. After having read some academic texts about Haiti for a couple of my classes, I was more interested when I finally started reading this. However, I must say that I wasn't prepared for what I was about to read. This is a relatively short read, but it certainly is not easy to get through. It's one of the most devastating novels that I've read in a while.

Breath, Eyes, Memory by Edwidge Danticat

This is the life story of a female character named Sophie Caco. She narrates the novel, and her journey starts and ends in Haiti where she was born. At the age of 12 she is summoned by her estranged mother to live with her in New York City. Over time, Sophie learns that she is the product of a rape. Her mother's nightmares slowly become her own as she discovers more about her mother's story, reconciles her family's past with her present, and struggles to articulate who she is as a woman and an individual. Motherhood, marital troubles, a couple stays in Haiti and the death of her mother force her to come to terms with her own truth.

Sophie represents an interesting yet harsh aspect of the status of women that is seen in many cultures. Because she was a good student and was able to go to America, she is expected to be successful and do things that women in her family have never done before Yet, her worth and fate still depend on appealing to, marrying, and pleasing a man. Her mother is obsessed with the idea of virginity and "tests" Sophie to make sure that she is pure, just as she and her mother (Sophie's grandmother) were tested. Obtaining a "good" marriage with a "good" man indicates security and success more than anything that a woman might do for herself.

Danticat takes up some really heavy topics and themes in this novel: shame, hatred of black bodies, violence and self harm, gender roles, sex/sexuality/sexual assault, love, belonging, roots and tradition, folklore, cultural differences, identity, eating disorders, generational trauma, guilt and forgiveness, fear of abandonment. I related to a number of these themes, so I guess that's why it hit me so hard. I've read some pretty deep and disturbing literature in the past, but I don't think I've read anything that has made me contemplate Haitian culture and womanhood the way that Breath, Eyes, Memory has. Like I said, it's devastating. But it's the kind of work that I think anyone could benefit from reading at least once.

Favorite quotes:

"They are the people of Creation. Strong, tall, and mighty people who can bear anything. Their Maker, she said, gives them the sky to carry because they are strong. These people do not know who they are, but if you see a lot of trouble in your life, it is because you were chosen to carry part of the sky on you head." (p. 25)

"Imagine our surprise when we found out we had limits." (p. 43)

BOOKS! (The Purpose Driven Life)

I found this one in the used section of a bookstore and figured why not? This book's been popular for 12 years, I keep hearing about it, so let's see what all the fuss is about. At first I tried to plow through it like I do other books, but when I realized that it was a 40-day devotional I almost opted out. I didn't want to be slowed down. But then I decided to just go with it and see if there was anything in it that could clear things up for me and help me start 2014 off in a good way. I'd never read a daily devotional before, and it ended up being good to slow down and get a daily dose of insight and encouragement.

The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

First off, this book won't tell you what your specific individual purpose is. It's not a crystal ball. Rather, it aims to give you the tools to figure it out by having you reflect on your actions, interrogate your motivations, and learn about the general purposes that God has for all of us. Each chapter starts with a Bible verse or an inspirational quote, and ends with a Bible verse and a question for you to reflect on for that day.

One of the biggest lessons I've learned from this book is that I need to stop trying to rely on myself so much. I will never have all the answers, I will never be able do everything (much less do everything right), and I will never make it in this life if I don't practice relying more on God and on the good people he's placed around me. Interacting with others is part of our mission, and it is also key to finding fulfillment in life. Relationships matter!

I've also been reminded that this life is not about me, how I feel, or what my problems are at the moment. Even though it might not make sense, as long as I'm faithful everything that happens works for my good and the glory of God. So what you focus on matters, too!

Warren's message becomes repetitive at certain points, he makes some statements that seem sweeping or vague, and some of the paraphrasing and translations that he uses for Bible verses is unfamiliar to me. But overall this book provides good food for thought, and enables readers to take a few minutes a day to read and reflect on God and purpose in a quiet space.

Favorite quotes:

"There is no other story just like yours, so only you can share it. If you don't share it, it will be lost forever. You may not be a Bible scholar, but you are the authority on your life, and it's hard to argue with personal experience." (290)

"Blessed are the balanced; they shall outlast everyone." (305)

Sessions with Sue 10

I have a confession to make. After I saw myself in FoF's latest video on Sunday, I basically had a breakdown. I'd forgotten how fat I was. I was shocked and heartbroken and ashamed of how I looked, so I was really depressed this week. Didn't want to look at myself in the mirror or windows, didn't want to be seen by anyone, didn't want to go anywhere, didn't want to do anything. I just shut down, cut myself off from most contact with people, and was consumed with very negative thoughts. It was a dark and terrible week. So yesterday Sue and I mostly talked about my issues with my body, which I've been dealing with for most of my life. At one point she asked me what about my body I disliked so much, and I guess it's just that I have too much extra, it's a hindrance, it's embarrassing, and it's hard to get rid of it all. Here are some things she had to say about that:

• Part of progress is letting things bubble up to the surface. When they do, they don't take anything away from your progress, they just demand attention.
• When you get down and become ashamed of yourself, you disconnect from all the wonderful things that your body does for you.
• Being separate from others, being on the outside, being invisible, they all hurt you. Even though they seem like protections.
• You are not alone in this. There are lots of women out there who are hungry fro someone to encourage them and go through it with them just like you are.
• You have a third eye, a judgmental eye, that is very (unnecessarily and destructively) strong.
• Think: How can I nourish my body, and treat it with the same care as I treat my mind and soul?
• Part of it is mindfulness. Observe yourself (but in a nice way!)

Not.

There are so many things that I'm not and wish that I was. And they're nearly all I think about, everyday.

"B*tch" vs. "N*gga"

"Just because I'm a b*tch today doesn't mean I'm a b*tch tomorrow!" -Prof. R. Harrison

 

During an after-class discussion about reclamation/reappropriation of demeaning titles through self-identification. This professor of mine is a feminist and calls herself a b*tch sometimes and is fine with it, but other people can't call her one. However she had reservations about using the n-word in the same casual way. A black classmate of mine named C had the same thinking about the n-word (I and my fellows can call each other that, but other people can't say it to me), but he was appalled and confused that Prof. Harrison and other women could even conceive of using the word "b*tch" as a term of endearment or empowerment. They were basically having a very animated discussion about the differences between the terms, and the severity and degrading qualities of one versus the other. It was ridiculously entertaining to watch and be a part of.

 

(In case anyone would like my opinion on the matter,  I think both are ugly, degrading, and dehumanizing words that are steeped in too much history and violence to be taken lightly. I refuse to use them and do not advocate using them,  no matter who the speaker is. But you know,  people will do as they will.)

Another Cover!

We recently auditioned for a talent show with this song, and we made it into the show! But we weren't able to record ourselves at the time, so we've done it for you now. Enjoy!