At an unusually crowded restaurant, one of the few that's open on Christmas Eve around here.
Hostess: Name, please?
Hostess (starts to add us to her list of waiting parties, then stops): How do you spell that?
(Grandpa obliges, but she only manages to jot down a number of misspellings despite his corrections. The best she can do still has "___well" written as ___wbll.)
Grandpa (mumbling to me as we sit down to wait): We need to send her back to school.