Worth is Something Different.

Please don't be wooed by words like "market value" or "competitive". Know your worth and hold to it!

(Before I continue, what I'm about to say may not be news to many, but I've had this revelation firsthand from behind the scenes, and I want to share it for people my age who are working or looking for jobs and may not have considered it. What I'm about to say is also based on the hypothetical assumption that a job-seeker has the experience, skills, and qualifications to warrant a salary that's reflective of what they bring to the table. Know that this is purely based on observation and not personal grievance.)

When hiring personnel mention "market value", they're not talking about how much you or what you can do are actually worth. I venture to say that what they're really referring to is how much (or how little) they can pay you in comparison to other companies who hire people to do similar work. Their goal is to get the most quality work out of you for the lowest possible price, so when hiring personnel or job ads mention "competitive rates" or "competitive salaries", please do not read too much into it. "Competitive" doesn't mean that what they offer you is all that you should get or that there isn't any money to pay you more. It means that their rates/salaries are in line with (maybe a few dollars more than) the precedent that they and other companies have been able to set for the same type of work. And in too many cases, people with the requisite skills and experience or worth more than that precedent.

And I understand, this is business and businesses have budgets to maintain. I understand that even if people are underpaid, it doesn't necessarily follow that their employers don't value their contributions at least in theory; they might get acknowledged in other ways. I also understand that not everyone is in a position to hold out for something else that will pay more, especially if the offer presented to them is the only viable option they have. Money is money and people gotta eat. But I've learned quite a few lessons working in recruitment so far, and one of the most important is that market value (what people are willing to pay you) and your worth are not synonymous. They should be, and in various instances I'm sure they are depending on the field and the position that someone is aiming for, but they often are not.

I'm increasingly of the mind that worth cannot be completely measured in a conventional sense anyway. However, to the extent that it can be measured quantitatively and compensated monetarily, you have to be incredibly self-aware and know what you will and won't accept. Drake and many people before and after him have implored folks to "Know yourself, know your worth", and as someone who helps hire people I'm begging you not to take this advice lightly. Do what you gotta do, but don't ever let anyone make you second-guess what you have to offer.

Scripture & Lyrics

"But in fact God has placed the parts of the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be." -1 Corinthians 12:18 (NIV)

"But you can bet your life times that and twice its double / That God knew exactly where he wanted you to be placed." -Stevie Wonder

"The small one can become the big one" - Queen of Katwe

While it is tempting to be unnerved by an actress of Lupita Nyong'o's multi-faceted artistic stature playing yet another long-suffering black woman in a major film, she is such a phenom, transfiguring characters on paper into flesh and blood before our eyes, that I can't even be mad. This is not a proper introduction but it's the first thought that came to mind when sitting down to write about this film.

Seen Saturday, September 24th: Queen of Katwe

In Katwe, within the city of Kampala, Uganda, Phiona Mutesi is a pre-teen girl who spends her days selling maize in order to help support her family, which includes her widowed mother and three siblings. When her brother Brian starts skipping out on selling to slip away, Phiona follows him to the one-room school house where a gaggle of intelligent, competitive, wise-cracking kids are taught to play chess by "Coach" Robert Katende, the activities coordinator at a local church ministry. Phiona joins and eventually becomes the winningest player in the club, which Robert affectionately calls "The Pioneers". As her talent takes her to national and international tournaments, Phiona begins to envision a broader future for herself, but is wisely cautioned from bearing disdain for the impoverished place and people who have shaped who she is.

What I really like about this film: Though it is a sports drama film, it's not another one of those cheap "let's save the blacks through sports" movies that Western audiences seem to be so enamored with, in which championships are won and brown-skinned people must transcend themselves in order to be somebody. The cast is abundantly African, most of the characters are abundantly poor, and though the kids learn to play chess competitively, it's not all about winning or earning a certain status. Robert challenges the kids in order for them to gain self confidence, develop critical thinking and problem solving skills, learn about themselves, and bow before no one, no matter where their competitors come from or what social status they may have. There is no glory in it from him. Phiona, like the other Pioneers, is given the space and encouragement to explore, make mistakes, and go as far as her skills and curiosity will take her, but she is never pressured to do anything that will ultimately serve the adults around her more than her. She puts her all into become a masterful chess player simply because it makes her feel smart and powerful, and the hometown hero status is just a bonus.

I also appreciate that Queen of Katwe keeps it real in terms of the limited options that women and young girls like Phiona, her mother (Lupita Nyong'o), and her older sister face. Young, poor, and without a man in the house, they must either sell goods to survive or try their luck at getting a man to provide for them. For some like Phiona's sister Night, the costs of dependence, isolation, exploitation, and ultimately abandonment are too high, but they have to learn this the hard way. For others, like Phiona's family's landlord, being "kept" is a fact of life that any woman should be prepared to do at least once. And some women, like Phiona's mother, are too proud to yield to such advances. Regardless of the choices that each of these characters make, the film doesn't shy away from the fact that women and girls of a certain age in circumstances like these face unwanted attention and the pressure to yield to men on a daily basis, and accepting it in order to survive is sometimes less than a choice.

Lastly, the end credits of the film left me feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. As each character is presented, the real-life person is shown standing alone, and then the actor who plays them walks in and stands beside them. Both stare into the camera seemingly oblivious of each other, and then they drop the act, turn, and embrace each other like old friends greeting. Some of the pairs are even dressed alike and color coordinated! It is such a sweet series of moments. Normally with "based on a true story" films like these you might get a few photos and a couple blurbs during the ending credits letting you know what happened to the real-life person. But to see every single one of the major characters alive, to witness African people taking part in a film that was made about their stories, and being seen by masses of filmgoers? With the actors honoring them, face to face? Lord have mercy, I almost cried.

What I don't like about this film: Nothing. I find chess to be over my head and extremely boring, and I was still fascinated by this film. Go see it and be inspired. That is all.

Meet Julia! (And never say never.)

Two weeks ago today, Ma and I adopted a dog. Said dog's mere presence in this house is a testament to the adage that one should never say never. Here I am, less than three months after the heartbreaking loss of my childhood dog (I thought I'd need an entire year to even consider getting another one), having adopted a pit bull mix (Ma swore that she would never allow that breed into her house), who bears a name that I never would have chosen for my own child, much less a dog (it's a pretty name but too common and girly for my liking). But what do you know? Meet Julia, the pibble (Staffordshire bull terrier + shepherd, approximately).


We met her at a pet adoption event at the Detroit Zoo. We'd been looking into adopting for a month or so, and at first I was certain that I wanted another hound. But then I broadened my criteria to any medium-sized dog that was thick in the middle and had a distinctive look and/or had at least one "ugly cute" feature (wrinkles, droopy eyes, skin folds, etc.). Funny enough Julia was actually the first dog that we saw when they opened the event to the public that Saturday morning, and after walking through all the tents Ma and I took a liking to about four other dogs (all pit bulls, go figure), but we kept coming back to her. Detroit Animal Welfare Group (DAWG) informed us that she has a past and emphasized that she is not good with other animals (especially dogs, she's not so much "aggressive" as she is "reactive"). But they also emphasized how loving she is and that all she wants is to be loved and feel safe. I saw how chill, chubby, and friendly she was in the pink kennel they had her in, and for some reason I had an unshakeably good feeling about her. So I applied to adopt her, DAWG scheduled a home visit with us, Ma and I spent the rest of that day cleaning, and the next afternoon DAWG was at our front door with Julia in tow. They must have approved of us and our house, because two weeks later and she's sleeping behind my chair as I write this.

We are beyond happy to have Julia around, but that's not to say that things weren't awkward at first. Julia had been so used to the rescue people that she moped around looking and waiting for them the first day after they left. As for me, as determined as I'd been about being ready to adopt I was (am?) still grieving Madison, so I wasn't head-over-heels for Julia and I had difficulty being able to look at her and acknowledge wholeheartedly, This is my dog. Thankfully after the the third day or so we warmed up to each other, and now she follows me everywhere and never misses a chance to get in my face. And I got used to her name (I don't know who named her "Julia", but DAWG had had her for nearly her entire 2-ish years of life, and she meant so much to them that I didn't bother trying to change it).

Based on our initial fortnight together, I can tell you a few things about my new dog.

She is: "A chunk of love" as DAWG ppl called her (chubby pup who's very affectionate with humans, though not so chubby anymore), eager to please (most of the time), inquisitive, and a dog that knows what she wants and what she doesn't want.

She is not: A morning dog, a running buddy, noisy (only barks when she sees other dogs or if other dogs bark at her first, snores very lightly in her sleep), or too proud to play possum for belly rubs.

She likes: Tearing up soft squeaky toys, staring out the front door and window at passersby, rolling around in grass, going outside for no reason, going on walks, riding in the car, licking whatever human skin she can make contact with (especially faces), lying around, sleeping, pretending she doesn't hear us talking to her (not all the time), and belly rubs.

She dislikes: Other dogs, eating on a regular schedule, being prompted to move when she doesn't feel like it.

So far so good. The transition has been smoother than we anticipated in a delightful way. Thanks to Ma for seeing how broken-up I was over Madison and mentioning the idea of getting another dog in the first place. Thanks to the Detroit Zoo and the Michigan Humane Society for holding their annual event. Thanks to DAWG and especially Janet and Natalie for walking us through the process and being so informative and supportive. Thanks to Julia for becoming my new best friend. And thank you Jesus for making it so I don't have to be so lonely anymore.

For more pictures of Julia up 'til now and to come, check out this album:

Julia the Pibble.

Scripture & Lyrics

"Some of you have become arrogant, as if I were not coming to you. But I will come to you very soon, if the Lord is willing, and then I will find out not only how these arrogant people are talking, but what power they have."                  -1 Corinthians 4:18-19 (NIV)

"Well run up when you see me then, we gon' see." -Drake

Things People Give Me #28

For various reasons I haven't gone into the specifics of where I work or what I do, but basically I work in recruiting. Technically I'm not a recruiter, but rather I gather all the information that the recruiters whom I'm paired with need in order to do what they do.

Our team is split between the Americas team/company headquarters here in the states, the Asia team (with members based in the Bay Area, China and Hongkong), and the Europe/Africa/Middle East team (with members based in England and Paris). This past week the head recruiter for Asia, the head recruiter for Europe, and the boss of the entire worldwide recruiting team paid a week-long visit to HQ to touch base with everyone here, get acquainted with employees they hadn't met in person yet, and of course, work.

Well one morning, our collective boss went around to all the members of the recruiting team to give each of us a golden starfish paperweight, carefully wrapped in tissue and marked with a glittery tag that read, "[Name of person] - Star Recruiter".

Now, when it comes to work I am very serious. Even if, for instance, I don't care very much about what I'm doing, if that's the task that I have to do, and I've got no where else to be but this cubicle for the next eight hours, then that's what I concentrate on to make the day go by. I do not come to socialize or make friends, I come to sit down, get things done and leave. I am by no means anti-social. But I like to be able to focus, and idle fraternizing is not conducive to my particular stye of productivity.

The only thing is, holed up in my cubby with that mindset, I sometimes forget the environment I'm in and it slips my mind that the company culture is actually considerably open, friendly, and collaborative. On the recruiting team especially, people usually make a point of thanking each other for their contributions and making sure that their fellows feel appreciated. I should not have been surprised that our collective boss has a similarly generous character, and she even came bearing gifts.

Thanks, Renn! It was nice to finally meet you in person.

BOOKS! (Queen Sugar)

Almost didn't buy this book because I thought it'd be boring (I need to stop doing this to myself!). So a black woman takes over the cane farm that her father bequeathed to her in Louisiana, and it's hard because she's working in a white man's industry in a white man's state in a white man's country in an increasingly whitewashed world. Okay, and? Such is life. But oh. My dear queen with a gift for description, Natalie Baszile, please forgive me for doubting you! The week before the TV adaptation 'Queen Sugar' premiered on OWN, I became determined to read the book first and foremost. Now that I've read it I'm not as interested in watching the show just yet (numerous creative deviations from the book being the main reason; I'll probably wait until the season is over and watch it all in one sitting). And since most people seem to be more familiar with the show anyway, I figure for now I'll focus on appreciating the source.

Queen Sugar by Natalie Baszile

The Bordelon family is a Louisiana-based clan whose members yearn for forgiveness and second chances. Main character Charlotte "Charley" Bordelon, a widow and Los Angeles native, is drawn back to her family's hometown of Josephine following the death of her father and with her grandmother Miss Honey's prompting to come on home. She brings her preteen daughter Micah in tow, who was previously injured in an accident due to Charley's temporary grief-induced negligence. Rather than reconnecting with her roots, however, Charley's decision to move is primarily due to inheritance; her father Ernest bought the 800-acre sugar that he'd previously worked as a young boy, and left it to Charley in his will. She has the next ten months to produce crop, or else lose the land and face a mountain of debt.

Embarrassingly inexperienced, starting late in the game, shunned by some locals, and patronized and taunted by her white male competitors, Charley is nevertheless able to find a willing field manager and eventually amass a small staff of laborers to get her crop going. But farming is not only an art, it's a 24-hour job, and when she's not contending with scarce equipment, scarcer funds, rains, hurricanes, and bug infestations on the farm, she faces another host of large and small dramas at home. Micah is entering that age where she's increasingly insecure about herself and combative with Charley, and while Miss Honey and auntie Violet offer home and a sense of security, Miss Honey relentlessly insists that Charley let her estranged older half-brother Ralph Angel in on the farm work, if not also his share of the profits (never mind that their father left the farm solely to Charley, and she's the only one authorized to own or profit from it). Brother arrives from Arizona a while after sister arrives from California, and while they try to keep it civil at first, the tension between them will not be ignored.

Ralph Angel is the child of Ernest and his high school sweetheart, who never married. Ernest left for California in search of a better life, and while they tried their best to co-parent, Ralph Angel's mother bore most of the responsibility. Like his sister, Ralph Angel is also a single parent who recently lost his spouse, and he struggles with poverty and a drug addiction to make the best life he can for his his son, Blue. As the main character Charley carries the story well, but dare I say it, Ralph Angel is the more interesting of the two siblings. He is a truly tragic character who ultimately never finds peace. He actually believes that because of his past and who he is as a person, he is unworthy of grace (which is kind of how grace works anyway, a gift that's undeserved by the receiver, but I digress). Ralph Angel is a grown man with severe abandonment issues due to his father seemingly choosing his second family (especially Charley) over him, insecurity expressed through obtuse pride and a fiercely aggressive desire to be acknowledged, and an addiction to the same drugs that claimed his late wife's life. He yearns for a new start, he yearns for something to stick, he yearns for acceptance and understanding, he yearns for something to truly call his own. But every time he tries to make a positive change in his life or commit to something productive, he manages to ruin it nearly as soon as it starts.

Later in the novel I was also greatly impressed by Miss Honey, whose character is brilliantly written. You are almost deceived into pegging her for little more than that stubborn matriarch who loves hard and never lets anyone starve, that praying grandmother that every black family seems to have or remembers having. And she's all of those things. But she's also incredibly flawed, and so blinded by her own guilt for having caused Ralph Angel to grow up nearly fatherless, her denial, and her commitment to "family first" that she coddles Ralph Angel until he's past the point of no return. I'm not sure if Natalie Baszile planned it, but the way Miss Honey protects and makes excuses for Ralph Angel is reminiscent of the ways in which many black and brown cultures can make absurd exceptions for their boys and men, not only to a fault, but to nearly everyone else in the family's expense. And yet, as much as Baszile doesn't let up on how wrong Ralph Angel is, as the author she loves on him almost as hard as Miss Honey does. Baszile makes us want to like him and root for him, if he'd only let us. He is broken and desperate and impulsive and spiteful and afraid and tired and angry, but he's not beyond grace. Unfortunately that's a lesson that he never allows himself to learn.

As mentioned before, if nothing else, Natalie Baszile has an incredible gift for describing not only of sights, sounds and tastes, but also the sensations that they arouse. She makes you visualize stalks of sugar cane, smell the various stages of a southern Louisiana summer, feel Ralph's rush of panic when he feels pushed to the limit, become burdened with Charley's fatigue and desperation trying to make both her farm and family life a success. She even manages to make gardening sound provocative, with musings on flowers blooming and cane harvesting used as foreplay to one of Queen Sugar's few sex scenes. I usually skim past long descriptive passages, but with this novel that was not the case. If you enjoy underdog stories, delving into family drama and personal demons, or have even the slightest smidgen of interest in life and terrain in rural Louisiana, chose Queen Sugar. It will surprise you, bewilder you, pierce you like only kin can, and then welcome you home.

Favorite quotes:

"Tears stung Charley's eyes as she bathed in the fading glow of Violet's voice. She could soak up Violet's warmth for a lifetime. She was the buttermilk pancakes to Violet's maple syrup, the white bread to Violet's bacon grease, and if she had a thousand more awful days like she'd had today, at least she had Violet to balance things out" (68). 

"Please God, protect my family. Leave something behind on the farm so I'm not completely ruined. Let me have one chance to see what I can do before you take it all away" (252).