Sunday, January 24, 2016

BOOKS! (Narrative of the Life of Henry Box Brown)

This book is very special to me because I'd learned about the man who mailed himself north to freedom in elementary or middle school, but had no idea that he'd written about it afterward. This book is doubly special to me because I was able to buy it and the next book that I'm going to review for a grand total of $2.91 at a calendar store. The cheapskate and the bookworm in me are both insanely pleased right now.

In a nutshell, Henry Box Brown's story goes like this: In Virginia, Brown and his wife had different masters, but he often did additional work for his wife's master and gave the scoundrel money because said scoundrel had the power over him to demand such things. When Brown wasn't able to meet his demands, one day he came back from work to find his wife and children gone. They had been sold further south by his wife's master. Greatly distraught, weary, and rightfully enraged, he had finally had enough of the tyranny of slavery. And in March 1849, with the help of a couple trustworthy associates, he risked death to have himself sealed in a box and mailed from Richmond, VA to Philadelphia, PA. This memoir is part of his later work as an abolitionist speaker, actor, and storyteller.

Narrative of the Life of Henry Box Brown by Henry Box Brown

At only about 60 pages, this book is one of numerous precious testimonial slave narratives that we have access to today. Henry Box Brown employs it as a means to tell his story, as well as to offer some theories about the treatment and conditioning of black people that are strikingly relevant to the current BLM/New Civil Rights Movement. For instance, early in the book Brown discusses the nominal quality of black marriages and a particular lack of autonomy for black female bodies. Sexual agency does not exist for black women, and he makes clear that a slavemaster's right to a female slave's body supercedes that of her husband's. He then boldly supposes that one of the strongest motives for even the most "respectable" men to own slaves is sexual: white men keep slaves in order to have unlimited access to rape as many black women as possible, and then profit off of their mixed offspring as an afterthought. The devaluing of black women is nothing new, and on top of that, it's profitable.

In another instance, Brown draws from his  childhood to demonstrate how slave children are brainwashed to think that their innate purpose lies in subservience. Brown and other little ones on the plantation mistakenly believe that their master is God and that the master's son is Jesus. Said master and son are amused by this superstition of theirs, and encourage it. On other plantations masters might even sit amongst slave children to teach them the word, but won't allow them to read the word themselves─or even touch the Bible! Fortunately for Brown, he stops believing that his masters are divine when his mother corrects him with her own instruction, emphasizing that he know Christ for himself. His family is able to teach and empower him at home; many other black children are not so lucky.

Speaking of Christianity, Brown is very open about having been conflicted about the religion. As a black man who was controlled and taken advantage of by white people who wielded a warped, disingenuous piety against him, this isn't a surprise. Nearly all of the people who own him or use their power to mistreat him and other slaves are white, so-called good Christian people. A slave-owning Christian extorts money from him for years, then sells his wife and children away. And surrounding slave-owning Christians whom Brown has grown to know and trust are deaf to his pleas to help him get his family back. So, understandably, he's got beef! Brown writes that he could've very well been bitter and ended up hating Christianity, but he instead embraces it because he's learned that the faith is really about love and freedom for all. Neither he nor his narrative are anti-Christian, but he acknowledges how other black people might turn out to be so.

Something that's also salient for the Movement today is the frequent economic manipulation that slaves were subject to at the hands of their owners or overseers. To counter centuries-long assumptions of our people's inert laziness, we often try to remind ourselves of the power of the black dollar. And I think the beginnings of this sentiment can be gleaned from Brown's stories of slaves lending or giving masters money based on negotiations that go unhonored. With promises of freedom, of not having loved ones sold off, or of receiving their own facilities as incentives, slaves would work to save all the money they had to meet their masters' exorbitant demands. And in return, they'd be tricked into diverting their funds to other purposes, placated into compliance just long enough to forget about running away, or flat-out swindled out of their money by masters who'd never had any intention of conceding to the terms agreed upon in the first place.

With all the points Henry Box Brown brings up (and there are more), he ties them all back to the reality that generally, white people didn't have qualms about owning people because we were not people to them. This isn't news to me, but reading it the way he tells it makes it difficult to swallow because I see the same anti-black sentiments expressed in 2016, especially in response to continued calls for justice, equality, and humane treatment. Many a time Brown overhears slaveowners and other white people saying that blacks "don't have souls" or "don't have feelings" to justify their own depravity. Such depravity, along with many things good and bad, is sown into the fabric of this country. I think Henry Box Brown wrote this narrative to ensure that Americans not only don't forget this fact, but that we do what we can to resist and correct it. His journey to freedom is astounding, but what he has to say about it is even more so.

Favorite quotes:
"For I feel convinced that enough has not been written, enough has not been said, enough has not been done, while nearly four millions of human beings, possessing immortal souls, are, in chains, dragging out their existence in the southern states... Having, myself, been in that same position, but by the blessing of God having been enabled to snap my chains and escape to a land of liberty─I owe it as a sacred duty to the cause of humanity, that I should devote my life to the redemption of my fellow men" (1).

"The advocates of slavery will sometimes tell us, that the slave is in better circumstances than he would be in a state of freedom, because he has a master to provide for him when he is sick, but... no amount of kindness can be made the lawful price of any man's liberty, to infringe which is contrary to the laws of humanity and the decrees of God" (29).

Thursday, January 21, 2016

Talking with Yasmin 10

Notes from today's session. I did the compassionate statement assignment Yasmin gave me last time, but it was so hard for me to do! I've realized that when I have negative or judgmental thoughts about myself, in my mind that's the truth. That's just how it is. So trying to re-frame these statements or come up with positive rebuttals to them was greatly challenging and uncomfortable because I felt like I was going too easy on myself or denying the truth, like I was being naive or something. But I did it, and now I have a record to go back to and reassure myself if/when those thoughts resurface.
  • Pole class frustrations; can't stand not being good at things especially when there are witnesses, disappointed in yourself, frustrated when you don't get the hang of things right away 
  • Reading through my entries for the compassionate statements assignment 
    • feeling a lot of unresolved disquietude and guilt; self-induced pressure to do get it together
  • "difficult emotions" meditation
    • getting comfortable in the uncomfortable 
    • RAIN, recognize experiences instead of resisting them, and allow them to happen without attaching meaning or judgement

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

DeelaSees turns THREE! :)

Today makes three years since I created this space for myself. Happy Blog-iversary to me, and to anyone who reads this!

I will continue to use my words for good, and to write them well.

-Deela

Monday, January 18, 2016

Superstore

America Ferrera's brilliant self. Ben Feldman's fine self. A diverse ensemble cast given the chance to shine on screen because diverse people actually exist, not just to earn brownie points or mark off a checklist.

Representing for all the toiling masses in the retail/service industries, and the crap we put up with for the sake of teamwork and a buck.

Plus, clever and hilarious to boot.

Superstore.

I know I just sat up until past 3am watching all of your episodes, so I'm a super newbie. But for real, you've henceforth got a loyal fan in me. Lately I haven't laughed as much as I used to, and this show has allowed me to reminisce on my days in retail and laugh  from my gut, at the top of my lungs.

Thank you! 

Attention, shoppers: Superstore is coming to NBC for a special 1-hour preview on November 30 at 10/9c!
Posted by Superstore on Monday, November 2, 2015


Sunday, January 17, 2016

BOOKS! (Cure) - proof

Another advanced reader copy taken from the bookstore break room. I usually don't read scientific books of any sort, but I was intrigued by this one's title and premise. The power of the mind to heal the body is currently a very trendy topic, so this book will be right up the alley of many people who already believe in this phenomenon. However, this idea is also met with much skepticism among doctors and scientists who doubt the efficacy of alternative medicine. What makes Cure different from many mind-body/self-transformation texts, however, is that it takes a scientist's approach to explore whether there is evidence to substantiate the use of the mind in medical practice.

Cure: A Journey into the Science of Mind Over Body by Jo Marchant
(on sale January 19th, 2016) 

The new age-y title is likely to entice and intrigue many as it did me, but please don't get too excited. What Marchant presents is radical, but not that radical. She doesn't argue that we can think ourselves well (the idea that positive thinking can cure diseases is not a theory that she can support neither as a doctor nor as a scientist). What she does argue, however, is that by using practices meant to influence the mind in conjunction with more conventional treatments, our brains can play a major role in mitigating and relieving symptoms. This in turn can lessen the suffering and anxiety associated with conditions that are difficult or unresponsive to conventional treatment alone. And potentially, these relief methods could put us on the path to developing more efficient and patient-centric medical practices. In short, incorporating the multi-faceted abilities of the mind more into treatment can't be said to cure diseases all on its own, put it could get us going in the right direction.

Jo Marchant, an accomplished British geneticist and science journalist herself, drew upon many sources to conduct her research. She interviews patients and participants, and she consults or observes the work of doctors, researchers, specialists, and practitioners in the UK, US, Italy, Switzerland, France, Costa Rico, Russia and Canada. Just as the sources of her material vary by geographical location, the studies that she presents concern various phenomena and experiments. For example, the placebo effect, the brain's manipulation of fatigue, hypnotherapy being used to relieve debilitating IBS symptoms, virtual reality games and other forms of distraction being used achieve pain relief for burn victims, the merits of consistent one-to-one support and comforting speech provided by caregivers, as well as others. Readers are led to envision the possibility that the mind can be used to enhance treatment for a myriad of physical and mental conditions.

Marchant uses the first half of the book to set a foundational understanding of the ways in which the mind and body work together (both proven and not-yet-proven), and the second half of the book to apply that understanding to everyday life. Three particular chapters in this second half got me thinking. In Chapter 8, "Fight or Flight: Thoughts That Kill", she argues that societal and environmental conditions can affect our biology in such a way that certain populations (in her example, poor Black communities) are being set up to exhibit chronic stress, unhealthy behaviors, and fear mindsets that endure through adulthood. Chapter 10, "Fountain of Youth: The Secret Power of Friends", is all about longevity and loneliness; since social bonds have been found to reduce stress, Marchant explains how friendship can keep us alive. She saves what may be the hottest of hot button issues for last in Chapter 12, "Looking for God: The Real Miracle of Lourdes", using a popular Catholic pilgrimage site in France as the framework to explore how belief in God might be said to improve physical health and healing.

Ultimately, Marchant admits that this field still needs a lot of research, as there's so much about our brains especially that we still don't understand. At the same time, she repeatedly emphasizes the point that while numbers and quantitative results are important, how patients feel─not just physical sensations but also their psychological state and how they experience their illnesses─is also crucial, and should be taken into account when treating them. Because, as she writes, patients aren't just bodies and certainly aren't machines. They are complex human beings. They're people! Cure is a slightly challenging but incredibly informative read that will be useful to scientists and non-scientists alike.

Favorite quotes:
"It turns out that experiences of social exclusion or rejection─such as being shunned in a game, receiving negative social feedback, or viewing images of deceased loved ones─activate exactly the same regions of the brain as when we are in physical pain. When we're socially rejected or isolated, we don't just feel sad. We feel injured and under threat" (181).
 "The evidence shows something very different: that our bodies and minds have evolved in exquisite harmony, so perfectly integrated that it is impossible to consider one without the other. Terms like 'mind-body' and 'holistic' are often derided as flaky and unscientific, but in fact it's the idea of a mind distinct from the body, an ephemeral entity that floats somewhere in the skull like a spirit or soul, that makes no scientific sense" (255).

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Talking with Yasmin 9

Today's session began with mediation and ended with a homework assignment! Doing something different, which is a welcome change from me just coming in, sitting down, talking, crying, talking while crying, and then leaving as usual. Well I mean that happened too, but at least this time it wasn't the only thing that happened. Here are my notes:

  • Been feeling better
  • Declined the interview for a certain job in Japan; even though moving to Japan is something that you really want, had the intuition to know that you had to let this particular opportunity go; feel you need to make peace with yourself first before uprooting your life to another continent
  • "Waiting around" meditation; looking inward during periods of waiting and uncertainty instead of diverting to outward distractions
  • Developing self-compassion
    • Common humanity; sense of yourself as part of humanity in which other people share your struggle and difficult experiences, can empathize with yourselves and each other 
    • Try hugging yourself; hug yourself by placing hands over heart, reassuring yourself that you're not alone because you always have you
  • For NEXT WEEK: As you have them, make a list of negative thoughts/criticisms that you form toward yourself and re-frame them as compassionate statements

Monday, January 11, 2016

What's the Big Deal About Dating?!?

Today I had a less-than-stellar initial (and probably only) appointment with a psychiatrist in Yasmin's office. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to say "Nah", and pass on this doctor and his meds. What I'm about to tell you has little to do with why I was put off by the appointment, but it is something that's come up before and is starting to annoy me. Somewhere along his line of questioning he asked me,

"Are you dating?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Whatchu mean, why not?? Because I'm not, that's why!  "...No interest."

I understand that this is a fairly reasonable question for a psychiatrist to ask, but his "Why not?" sounded a lot like, "Oh. That's... odd. Why aren't you partaking in this normal person activity?" There are plenty of things about me that could render me an abnormal 23-year-old, but I don't see why dating should have anything to do with it. A young 23-year-old woman can't decide to forgo dating without needing a reason for it? I have my reasons, and those reasons aren't necessarily your business. But hey, for the sake of this post, I'll humor you.

I've been single all my life, and am a creature of habit! No one's ever expressed genuine interest. I've never been interested in anyone enough to pursue something like that. It's too much work (boyfriends: you have to spend time with them, talk to them, feed them, take them on walks; it's just too much work!). It's a distraction that's not even on my radar right now (I'm trying to figure out my life and you want me to sacrifice precious time and energy to keep some dude company? TUH!). Whatever a date or a boyfriend might have to offer me is currently of dubious value and not appealing to me at this point in time. And frankly (and most importantly), I just don't want to!  I don't know why people can't accept "I just don't want to" as a good enough reason for things. It's a good enough reason for me, at least.

Yasmin has also brought up the subject of dating multiple times in our sessions, like I'm missing out on something. She's recently married and so is a believer in the power of love and companionship, and how a healthy relationship can change your life for the better and all that jazz. And that's cool. I don't disagree. She wants me to be open to things, and is only encouraging me to reconsider options and broaden my horizons. Okay. But miss me with that. I get it from family, from friends, and now from well-meaning mental health professionals. Miss me with that, please.

Whew! I just had to get that off my chest. I feel better now. Maybe dating is fun and educational for most people, but I'm good with my singleness for the time being. Happy Monday, y'all!