Monday, January 11, 2016

What's the Big Deal About Dating?!?

Today I had a less-than-stellar initial (and probably only) appointment with a psychiatrist in Yasmin's office. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to say "Nah", and pass on this doctor and his meds. What I'm about to tell you has little to do with why I was put off by the appointment, but it is something that's come up before and is starting to annoy me. Somewhere along his line of questioning he asked me,

"Are you dating?"


"Why not?"

Whatchu mean, why not?? Because I'm not, that's why!  "...No interest."

I understand that this is a fairly reasonable question for a psychiatrist to ask, but his "Why not?" sounded a lot like, "Oh. That's... odd. Why aren't you partaking in this normal person activity?" There are plenty of things about me that could render me an abnormal 23-year-old, but I don't see why dating should have anything to do with it. A young 23-year-old woman can't decide to forgo dating without needing a reason for it? I have my reasons, and those reasons aren't necessarily your business. But hey, for the sake of this post, I'll humor you.

I've been single all my life, and am a creature of habit! No one's ever expressed genuine interest. I've never been interested in anyone enough to pursue something like that. It's too much work (boyfriends: you have to spend time with them, talk to them, feed them, take them on walks; it's just too much work!). It's a distraction that's not even on my radar right now (I'm trying to figure out my life and you want me to sacrifice precious time and energy to keep some dude company? TUH!). Whatever a date or a boyfriend might have to offer me is currently of dubious value and not appealing to me at this point in time. And frankly (and most importantly), I just don't want to!  I don't know why people can't accept "I just don't want to" as a good enough reason for things. It's a good enough reason for me, at least.

Yasmin has also brought up the subject of dating multiple times in our sessions, like I'm missing out on something. She's recently married and so is a believer in the power of love and companionship, and how a healthy relationship can change your life for the better and all that jazz. And that's cool. I don't disagree. She wants me to be open to things, and is only encouraging me to reconsider options and broaden my horizons. Okay. But miss me with that. I get it from family, from friends, and now from well-meaning mental health professionals. Miss me with that, please.

Whew! I just had to get that off my chest. I feel better now. Maybe dating is fun and educational for most people, but I'm good with my singleness for the time being. Happy Monday, y'all!

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