Friday, February 20, 2015

Sessions with Sue 30

It's been two weeks since our last session, so today we mainly just talked about what's been going on since then, which isn't much. During the latter half we focused most on my concerns about the future/life post-grad. Part of the reason why I'm not enjoying the ride as many seniors in their last semester are is because I'm focused on being prepared for the future and constantly feel like I haven't done enough. Perhaps I didn't do the right things or make the right choices, otherwise I might have something lined up by now, I'm obviously not doing something right, what's going to happen to me, I don't wanna have to move back in with my mom, I don't want to end up not getting anywhere or not making anything of myself... blahdeblahblah. And this worrying is tied to my longstanding habit of not spending much time reveling in my accomplishments; instead I tend to diminish them either via comparison or my age-old theory that one can always do better:
  • People ask you if you're excited about graduating/graduation and that question doesn't make sense to you. You wonder what that's supposed to mean. "What's there to be excited about? How can one be excited when there's so much to be done and to prepare for?", you say
  • You're right, in theory people can always do more, do better, be better. But in reality, most of the time they don't. However much they've done is however much they've done, and that's it. Plus, people tend to try to do things with the least amount of effort or sacrificed required as possible. But these past four years you haven't been doing any of that half-stepping.
  • Two degrees, two languages, two study abroad experiences, three internships, 3.9 GPA, honors distinction, all in four years.You did that all on your own. No one did that for you; you did that. And you should be proud of yourself, even if you're not sure that you've done enough, and even if what's next is still up in the air
  • When your family comes to graduation, let them be excited for you! Let them celebrate your accomplishments without you trying to squash it or quiet it down.

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