Talking with Yasmin 1

Today, after a whole five months of trying to go it alone since my last Session with Sue, I bit the bullet and started seeing a new therapist at an office that my mom found for me. I always prefer to do things myself and then I convince myself that I can handle things solo dolo, but more often than I'd like the results of such efforts prove otherwise. I sooo badly want to be self-sufficient on so many different levels, but life post-graduation is proving slower and more uneventful than I'd dreaded, and I haven't been handling it well. Like at all. At. all. So today I met with a new therapist for the first time. When I contacted this particular psychological clinic through its website, my message went something like this:

"22-year-old recent college grad dealing with depression. Also struggling to feel a sense of purpose/direction in this time of post-graduation uncertainty. Would like someone (a female therapist of color, if available) to help me with these issues, as well as my lack of confidence (mostly due to negative body image). Was seeing a therapist from November 2013 through May 2015."

Yasmin isn't a therapist of color (at least, she doesn't seem to outwardly identify as one), but she's very nice. Her real name's not all that fun to write, so I'm choosing to refer to her as "Yasmin" instead. Today's introductory session included me spilling out my guts. I tried to avoid telling my life story but once I started talking and crying, I couldn't stop talking and crying. She's young─maybe late 20s or early 30s─which in no way means that she doesn't know her stuff. But I'm concerned that I might've overwhelmed her with all my, well, "stuff". Hopefully I don't scare her off. We'll see how next week goes. I'll be journaling again for my own personal benefit, and posting notes from each session here for anyone who'd like to read them. Wish me luck.