Monday, October 26, 2015

Talking with Yasmin 3

Friday's session included a lot less crying than usual (woohoo!). Lately I've been thinking a lot about some things, trying to face myself and figure out what I need to be doing. Not any more clearer on any front, but at least it was nice to talk it out.
  • Thinking about what Ma said about my focus being misplaced/off (obsessed with and intimidated by end result instead of enacting "whatever it takes" mentality to work through the middle) + things the poets said at the PIA Tour (desiring God, wanting what God wants even if it means letting your own dreams and desires go/take a backseat)
  • Talking about God (since I brought it up, Yasmin was allowed to talk about it) 
    • I'm always wanting things I'm not ready for
    •  No idea what God wants from me; no idea what He's calling me to do
    • hard to fully trust that God will make a way if I truly believe, since I don't know where that'll lead me or what I'm supposed to do; too terrifying to consider that it means giving up what I've always wanted
  • You have to define what you want out of this life.
    • it's about your truth, your passion, what makes you happy; because making Danielle happy is #1
  • What's your passion? Your dream?
    • singing, writing. Living and working as a singer (band's lead vocalist) in Japan
    • talked to Tiffany Toriumi for information/inspiration/encouragement→got into the jazz thing singing at jam sessions, started seeing vocal instructor
    • but then started feeling again like I'm just an amateur and everyone else are the "real artists" (plus got my keyboard to tinker around with my songs)→started shrinking back again
      • but in the pursuit of your dreams, you'll likely have to be under someone doing grunt work for quiet a while if that's what it's gonna take to get you there
    • why're you crying talking about your passions as if you're embarrassed? they should make you excited! if they matter to you, then they matter!
  • Yasmin reading You Are an Amazing Woman by Lisa O. Engelhardt to me 
    • not overloading yourself by doing too much; you can't do everything
    • people respecting/looking up to you, feeling support and light through you, maybe even envying you; you can be/are useful to others
    • sisterhood; been burrowing yourself in your own little hole since graduation; maybe should reach out to friends from college
  • Too preoccupied with thinking about what you should do with yourself and figuring out what kind of artist you want to be, to be fixated on usual bad feelings about your body! Yay for positive distractions and refocusing!

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