#HandsUpMSU #ShutItDown

We are Black MSU Students, our lives matter, we are angry, we are organized, and we are a force to be reckoned with. The March and Die-In yesterday were so beautiful and phenomenal!

Union ✔
Grand River ✔
Library ✔
Breslin ✔
Harrison ✔
Grand River Part Two ✔
Union Part Two ✔

I am so proud of what my brothers and sisters accomplished yesterday. They were out there all day demonstrating for #Ferguson, #MikeBrown, #EricGarner, #blacklivesmatter, and against racism and police brutality. I only wish the grapevine would've reached me so that I would have known about it beforehand. Somehow I've ended up too far out of the loop, haha! My people and our allies were bold, and unmoved by white tears, whining, and aggression that surfaced around them and on the web in response.




 Props to all who participated, I'm so awed and inspired by all of you. Peace and power to all voices of humanity and justice!

State News article

State News photos

WILX10 article

State News article (Day 2)

Things People Give Me #16

Today was my last day at my internship, and much to my surprise my boss, supervisor, and co-workers sent me off with a card with their messages written inside, a $25 gift card, hugs and hand-clapping, thanks, and well-wishes. I'd expected to just say a quick goodbye and walk out the door like I always did at the end of my "shift", so this was totally unexpected.

To be honest I feel bad that I didn't make more of an effort to develop camaraderie with the people in my office. They're such casual and good-humored people. But I was always focused on coming in, sitting down, and doing my work, and unfortunately I wasn't even able to finish the project I was given to work on all this time. Still, it was nice to hear that y'all liked having me around and that y'all appreciated my contributions. I appreciate your kindness.

Thanks for everything Debbie, Dawn, Lydia and Josh! Shoutout to the Arts Council of Greater Lansing! Some mornings were more difficult for me than others, but I learned a lot and I really enjoyed the work I was doing. I will keep in touch!

Sessions with Sue 26

Nothing to report this time, no notes to share. I'm just looking forward to this month-long break and next semester, so I can start being a person again and get back to doing things that make me happy. Take advantage of the free time it looks like I'll have. Try to take it easy, or at least easy-er. Not be so tired and stressed out all the time. Not be so hard on myself. Maybe even start looking forward to good things instead of only bracing for the bad ones. Who knows. Just a few more days and I can leave this all behind me and work on starting over.

See you in January, Sue.

Things People Give Me #15

Here's another email from Ms. Yvette. She emailed me yesterday to wish me a Happy Belated Birthday, but of course she had plenty of other things to say too. I read the email to Sue today and she said, "Wow. Everyone should have a Ms. Yvette in their lives." And I agree.

[subject: Happy Belated Birthday!]

Hey Danielle.  Happy Belated Birthday!   I don’t know why I keep thinking your birthday is on the 5^th instead of the 3^rd.  Well I hope you had a wonderful day yesterday!  Thinking of you today, made me think of the time you spent the night with me when you were around 5 or 6.  I could not believe your vocabulary back then.  I kept saying to myself “This little girl has a vocabulary of a grown up”!  You amazed me then as you are amazing me now.  You and I talked until 3:30 am, about anything from TV commercials to wearing make-up and dresses!  Remind me to tease you!  You told me that night that you would never wear make-up!

I still haven’t seen you!  When are you going to be in town? I just shot your Mom an emailing asking the same thing, but haven’t heard back yet.  You know we have much to talk about!  Even though I was reading your blog while you were in  Paris, I want to hear about your experiences first hand.  I must tell you Danielle, you certainly changed my mind about your overseas travels.  And you know how I felt about you travelling ALONE  overseas  (“TAKEN”)!  But  I couldn’t wait to read your blog, to see what fascinating things you were doing, people you were meeting and sights you were seeing.  And  Even though I didn’t like the fact that you were in a night club LATE AT NIGHT,  I was disappointed that you didn’t get up on stage and sing before you returned home.  Danielle, you have the most beautiful voice!  I was stunned, mesmerized and mystified when I heard you sing!  Where did that beautiful voice come from?

I surely hope your are continuing to sing.  I can’t remember if your Mom told me that you weren’t singing anymore with your partner that played the guitar.  And I know you did not re-join the gospel choir at your school.  But please, find some way to sing!  You have a God-given talent that should be heard!

Even my nephews said you have a beautiful voice.  And my older nephew is the worst critic of all.  I think he thinks he’s Simon Cowl from American Idol.  But of course he had a “recommendation” for you to Improve your sound.  He said you should always stand up when you sing. It gives you more power and better use of your diaphragm.  He and his brother went to a performing art school  and they think they know everything about music.  Well I went to the same performing art school and I  think I know a thing or 2 about music and I think your voice is heavenly! 

Well, I hope you are getting excited about your upcoming graduation.  I know I am!  I feel like a proud Auntee!  And don’t sweat feeling any anxiety about not knowing what you want to do when you graduate.  We all had that feeling.  I know I did.  And unfortunately for me, I got into a career field that I knew nothing about, and still don’t!  But my good government job afforded me the opportunity to travel throughout the world and I appreciate that. I would have never ventured out and travelled to Iraq at my age!  And I’m not telling you this, so that you will “settle” for something you don’t want to do.  By all means go for your dreams and follow your heart.  You will definitely be more fulfilled and look forward to a prosperous career. And there is no doubt in my mind that you will do just that!  Can I get an AMEN??!!!

Oh, I must tell you that I was going thru a lot of containers I have in my basement.  Luckily, I kept all of the ticket stubs and programs from all of your school performances!  I sure do miss seeing you perform!  Especially when you played in the band with that crazy band director you had!  He was hilarious!

 I’m gonna find the time to put all of this in a scrap book!

Well I hope to see you soon Danielle!  Take care!

Ms Yvette

Things People Give Me #14

I got this today, which was my birthday, but this isn't a birthday present (something I was supposed to receive) so I'm writing about it. 

Our last project in my Japanese class was a group skit where we had to use lots keigo (respectful language) and present it in front of the class today. There were six groups, and everyone voted for "Best Group" and "Best Pronunciation". I was the person who won "Best Pronunciation", and so I got first pick of all the random prizes that sensei had brought from Japan/Novi. I saw this odd little trinket, and knew it was for me!

My prize is a miniature  琴 (koto), made of wood and yarn. Koto is a traditional Japanese stringed instrument, and I actually got to watch a demonstration and try playing a song on one when I was in Japan last year. Sensei saw what I chose and talked about it as if it was just a weird piece of junk, like it was kind of embarrassing and useless but she just threw it in with the rest of the prizes anyway not expecting anyone to pick it. But I think it's cool!

Thanks to my classmates for voting for me, and thanks to Endo-sensei for providing prizes like this one!

Outings (Birthday Edition)

Omi Sushi - East Lansing (3 December)

• Absolutely love the deep blue-and-white thing going on with the decor; makes the place seem cool and sleek, yet intimate
• Korean-owned? Not entirely surprised
• Epik High ft. Younha- "Umbrella"  came on as soon as we were seated, so good vibes for me right away. That's one of my favorite songs from back in my 2009-2013 Kpop phase
• Chrisette Michele- "Another One"
• Japanese favorite #1: takoyaki! Wasn't the best takoyaki I've had but it was still PERFECTION! Why? Because it was takoyaki!
• Ma telling me the story of how my aunt in Wisconsin was the first to ever braid my hair when I was a baby, and how it was on her advice that Ma did my hair while I was sleeping. Ma had never told me this story before
• Katsu Curry. The curry was good but the tonkatsu was just aight. (Note to self: don't order katsu curry again for at least a year. It's basic, you order it every chance you get, and you don't even like tonkatsu that much.)
• Me fretting about being the dreaded 2-2. Ma said I was trippin', "22 is nothing. What, are you going to do this every year? Until you get about 40, you need to get over it."
• Her present to me: winter headband + earmuffs; something I would've been too stubborn/lazy/cheap to get myself. Genius!
• I'd mentioned in passing that it'd be nice to have something like that and forgot about it, but turns out she was listening
• Japanese favorite #2: maccha (green tea) ice cream! Haven't had this since I was in Japan last year, and this stuff was everything I've been missing. The real deal!

The Hunger Games: Mocking Jay – Part 1 - NCG Eastwood (3 December)

• Stopped by nearby Schuler Books to buy the books that I'd originally asked for for my birthday: Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan (thanks for the tip, Chrisette Michele!) and Americanah (thanks for the tip, conscious people I know in person/follow on the Internet!)
• Ma said she hadn't gotten them because she's always getting me books throughout the year, and she wanted to get me something more thoughtful. Thanks for buying them for me anyway!
• Third Hunger Games movie, in theater #3, on the 3rd. 333! That's some kind of  lucky, right?
• Selfie with Katniss
• No, I will not be writing about this film. I noticed that I've only been writing about films that have people of color at the center (except for The Great Gatsby, but you catch my drift). This was unintentional at first, but now that I've realized this pattern I'm choosing to make it intentional!
•  Still a good film, tho! A little slow-moving, but it's still really intense and gets under your skin in a good way!

Birthday Blues... and then not so much. Kinda.

22. Shoutout to all the December babies.

I have to be honest with you, this has been the saddest birthday I've ever had. I've never dreaded my birthday, but I definitely was not looking forward to this day.

When I woke up this morning I was distraught. Devastated. All day I was trying to not even think about the fact that today was my birthday; the thought made me wince.

Because today, for me, is basically just one big fat reminder of how old and unaccomplished I feel. I mean, 22 is such a weighty number and an intimidating age to become. It's like I've been on this earth for all this time, and what do I really have to show to myself? On top of that I have to start being a real adult soon, and I don't feel prepared or hopeful about it at all. And that's just too painful and disappointing to think about. So today has felt more like an ongoing slap in the face rather than a cause for celebration. A thorn in my side, if you will.

All day I was just sad, tired, and wanted to cry. And what a hassle! The one day you want everyone on earth to leave you alone, just has to be the one day of the year that everyone suddenly remembers you and bugs you about what day it is.

I know I sound crazy and ungrateful, but that's just how I've felt today.

-----

That's basically how I felt all day until Ma came to pick me up from class this evening. We did a very simple dinner and a movie thing just like we did last year. What you might not now about Ma is that she raised me all by herself basically from the beginning, and she's made most of her life about me for the past 22 years. She's been beyond dedicated, and my birthday is incredibly important to her. Probably more important to her than me. So she drove all the way up here to spend a few hours with me celebrating. Even though she's sick, even though she has to go to work tomorrow, even though she's been driving on highways a ton this past week, and even though she just saw me Sunday when she dropped me off from Thanksgiving "break".

And we had a really nice time. I'll get more into what we did in another post, but what I'm getting at is this. I still don't feel any better about what today is or what age I've turned, but I'm in a much better mood than I was most of the day because I got to spend time with the one person who's always in my corner. The one person who cares more about me and my birthday than I do. And that really meant something.

I'm really going to miss spending my birthdays with Ma. I don't know where I'll be this time next year, but it's entirely possible that this might have been our last December 3rd together for a while. We shall see.

Today was not a day that I was particularly looking forward to this year. But I do recognize all the people who texted, called, wrote on my FB wall, and said "Happy Birthday" to me in person. So thanks. However, I say with no reservations that I am currently sitting here looking forward to when the clock strikes 12, because then it will finally be someone else's day and the pressure can be off of me.