Thursday, September 18, 2014

Sessions with Sue 18

Sue has a scheduling conflict this Friday and I have one next Friday, so we had this week's session yesterday (Wednesday) and then I won't see her for another two weeks. This session was another difficult one for me, as I talked about my disappointing weekend, similarities I recognized between my life experiences and this mess, uncertainty about my future, and fears and doubts that impede me from doing what's in my heart:
  • There comes a point where children who come out of difficult situations have to take responsibility for their actions and acknowledge that they can make different decisions; you choose your actions
  • Perhaps you're at a point in your life where you'd prefer to have minimal to no contact/relationship with your dad; perhaps you would prefer interacting with him as you would any other stranger you might come across on the street
  • Cynicism and disinterest toward (romantic) relationships; maybe for you and your mom, being alone is just more comfortable?
  • Anxiety about your future, feeling stuck or like you can't do anything
  • You're the type of person who likes having a plan and school has set up a structure for you... so thinking about what comes after it just seems like a whole in the ground that you're going to walk into
  • But, good thing about being done with school is that (ideally) you won't have so many things that you don't care about demanding your time and attention; can do what you really want to do
  • A go-to phrase that you use when thinking yourself out of things: "It's not going to last, so why bother." But such is life! Nothing stays the same or lasts forever.
  • The fact that singing keeps coming up in our conversations probably means you should start making it a priority, or at least actively have it play a larger role in your life
  • Most people can't make a living with their music; if you start getting out there and being more active, are you strong enough at this point to handle someone knowledgeable of music/the industry assessing your voice and telling you, "You know, this just isn't for you"?
  • (My thought) Am I strong enough to keep going for it anyway?
  • ASSIGNMENT: Go to the Music Building and just walk around; see what's up and what postings might are up that might be of interest (groups, singing lessons, activities, etc.)

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