Monday, September 15, 2014

Sessions with Sue 17

Friday's session was kinda rough for me, just because I've been having a rough time lately. My schedule picked up last week; my weekdays start at 7am now and my Tuesday's don't end until 8 o'clock. But surprisingly I've been taking it all in stride. I haven't been overwhelmed by my schedule or the pace at which things are moving too much yet. However, I have been feeling really insecure and thinking negatively. Just constantly thinking that others are better than me for this or that reason, that I'm lacking something (or a lot of things), and that I'm not doing something (or anything) right. Like I'm altogether "still not there yet", it's my fault, and I should be ashamed of myself for it. So on Friday we mostly talked about friendship and the distorted view that I have of myself:
  • Need to get more sleep!
  • Who knows where this internship could lead? Great to be in a positive, calm, reflective environment. And, you're already contributing!
  • Insecure about how you're different from others
  • Your friends are your friends for a reason; shouldn't constantly suspect them to be insincere
  • You've got a double standard; you associate with people and become friends with them because you see good in them (not because of how they look), but you don't allow people the same credit for doing the same with you
  • When what people say doesn't line up with the distorted view you have of yourself, you suspect them of lying to you and being dishonest; instead of accepting their kind words at face value and thinking, "Hm, maybe they know something about me that I don't."
  • Radical acceptance to be who you are, how you are
  • You stop yourself from doing things that make you happy because you hold your insecurities and what others might say as greater and higher than anything else
  • Ms. Yvette's email; Need to exercise that muscle to not only think better of yourself and accept good things people say, but also to be able to remember/fall back on those positive words when you're feeling down, rather than finding refuge in your negative thoughts
  • Practice, practice, practice!
  • "Too serious"; it's probable that the problem isn't you, but your environment; you have personality traits that are valuable, but they're just not valued where you are right now

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