Usually when I write about Ma she's saying something funny or offering some sort of wisdom, but I just can't get with this. We were just talking about my anxiety about life post-graduation as we often do, and I was telling her how I feel like I'm in a crisis. A lot of other people seem to have a vision or some semblance of a plan when they're preparing to graduate. But when I think about my future I see nothing, I told her. She was dismissive in her typical what's-the-big-deal way of responding to my qualms:
"That's just because you have to do something great. You want evvverybody to admiiire you."
First of all, rude. And false. I don't even like for people to look at me, so why would I want to be admiiired by evvverybody? Second of all, what's wrong with wanting to do something great, or at least something that matters? I asked her just that, and she replied:
"Have you ever thought of it this way? You know, you have all these streets, monuments, buildings, and the like named after all these people who've supposedly done great things. But after a while people are like, 'Who is that person?'. They forget who that person is anyway. I'm just saying.'"
Just saying what? You're not saying anything! So we should just settle for mediocre lives and not bother trying to do anything worthwhile, since no one's going to remember us anyway? We should just settle for being passionless, money-making robots because nothing we do is going to matter? Are you freaking kidding me?!? Is that really how you think? Is that the type of thinking that guides you? I mean I knew my mom was set in her ways and a little closed-minded, but geez.
Maybe I don't have the requisite self-confidence to chase after my dreams at the moment, but even I know that there's value in doing things that are meaningful to you. Sue me for wanting to care, or at least have a smidgen of interest in what I end up doing for a living.
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