Sessions with Sue 21

I kept forgetting to write about our session from two weeks ago (Friday the 17th), so I'll share my notes from that session before talking about this Friday's. We mostly discussed the things that I'm disappointed in myself about, which are the main reason why I've been so down lately. We also talked a little about my dad:

• In high school when you'd  envisioned your college self you thought and hoped you'd transform, blossom; be more social and especially not graduate fat; disappointed in yourself because you didn't turn out as you'd hoped.
• You're gonna need to forgive yourself for that because losing weight takes time, determination, and prioritization that you just don't have right now; plus you're not at all bad like you feel you are
• What else about your college life hasn't turned out the way you wanted?
• Concerned about how you'll structure your day once you're out of school; what will be at the center? If you focus all that energy and drive that you put toward school into things that you've wanted to do all this time (music, writing, transforming your body and lifestyle) you'll probably be able to do it
• Sometimes when you talk you don't sound as if you feel in charge of your life.
• Dad; here you have a man who─though he doesn't know how to─seems to love you a lot. But he does it so poorly, awkwardly, and selfishly.
• You can't fix, help, or change your dad. But you'd thought that if you just let him know how you felt and said all you needed to say, he'd understand. But he didn't, and that was a great and painful disappointment to you.
• One of those ugly lessons of life and growing up: Sometimes no matter what you say, how you say it, or how many times you say it, if the other person isn't listening, they won't understand
• Wellness plan and needs; setting aside intentional time to be social with others.