Friday, November 14, 2014

Sessions with Sue 24

I had a random nightmare about my dad this week so we spent quite a bit of time during today's session talking about that, as well as revisiting the main incident that shattered my childhood and led me to be afraid of my dad in the first place. We also discussed me and my mom's personality differences and other dreams that I've been having:
  • The nightmare I had about Dad trying to kill Ma and me; woke up at 5am Thursday morning and called Ma terrified and crying; been having these dreams every now and then for the past 14 or 15 years and they always come out of the blue
  • How the court/justice system failed you and your mom when handling the divorce case
  • It's hard looking back as your adult self on how much your mom went through during that time that you hadn't even known about
  •  The logical part of your mom's brain is more developed than yours, and the emotional part of your brain is more developed than hers. She doesn't feel things as deeply as you do and is not expressive of her feelings or opinions. 
    • She has a very logical, cut-and-dry reaction to things, which can make her seem flat to you. But it's not that she's flat, that's just how she is. She's just different from you.
  • Transitional dreams (scary, monstrous, murderous dad / forgotten class / prepping for wedding / keeping people out of your house); your brain's been working really hard this year to deal with your issues of anxiety and control, and to also prepare you for what's coming ahead
  • Talking about "That Night" back in 2000; trauma; maybe look into specialized treatment (EMDR?)
  • You never really talk about your dad or about what happened with others; you keep most things about you to yourself in general
    • In the future as you're trying to form friendships/relationships and be understood or relatable to others, it might be good to bring him up not as the dark spot in your life that you're ashamed of, but just as a part of your story

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