Saturday, July 13, 2013

Ridin' around in dat rain (again) / I'm not a team player.

It's funny, because just this morning I read a Bible verse that said, "...vain is the help of man" (Psalm 108:12). This verse doesn't mean that people are no good. It just means that you can't rely on them all the time. Too bad I didn't realize in time that this was a sign about today.

I'm not trying to be rude or ungrateful. Nobody is ever obligated to have you around, and I appreciate all the times this summer that my fellow JCMU have invited me to do something or allowed me to tag along. Maybe the grey, wet, and ugly weather has just got me moody. Whatever it is, I'm in a bit of a funk about how today went down.

Over a week ago, I'd chosen today to finally go to Hikone Castle. I'd planned on going by myself, but I was told that a group of folks wanted to eat at Kumakuma and then explore Hikone, which would include going to the castle. I honestly wasn't feeling the idea of going to Kumukuma again. But I figured okay, I'll go with it and do what the rest of the group wants to do, and then I'll get to do what I want to do.

If only things always worked out that way.

We arrived at Kumakuma and ate lunch. We talked about American foods that we miss (except for pink oranges, I have none; as far as I'm concerned all that over-processed fatty garbage can stay where I left it.). We played card games. Then it was time to go, and to my surprise I learned that the group had no intention of going to Hikone Castle at all today. None. Granted, the weather wasn't ideal for doing something like that, but the only reason I even went out with everybody was so that I could get to that castle at some point. If they had no plans to do so they could've just told me, and I could've stayed in my room getting homework out of the way and preparing for my trip to Osaka on Monday.  I know I should've gone back at that point. But I was already out and in the spirit of curtailing my hermit homebody tendencies, I stayed with the group against my better judgment. I need to stop doing this to myself.

From Kumakuma we rode all the way out to what seemed like the other side of the city just to go to some doggone grocery store, then road aaallll the way back to JCMU in the rain. Now I'm in my room dealing with my frustration and trying to remind myself that I'm too old for pouting.
Aforementioned "doggone" grocery store

As you can see, I am not a through-and-through team player. Though I am excellent at pretending to be one. It's not that I don't like people; I just don't like wasting my time and energy. If there's some group activity, I might go along for the sake of being "a good sport", not being antisocial, and not causing any tensions (or in today's case, not having to explore a new place on my own). But after a certain point I get tired of that façade. If I'm with a group and I'm not doing what I want to do, or if I've just been out way too long and am overstimulated, it's like a little timer goes off in my head. Ding! It's been 2.5 hours. You're done. Boredom level has reached 85%, irritation level approaching 65%. Fake enthusiasm depleting by the minute. Time to go home.

Today wasn't absolutely aweful. I had a nice meal for lunch, I got to see parts of Hikone like Castle Road that I hadn't seen before, and I got some good exercise biking around the city all afternoon. But that's not how I would've chosen to spend this Saturday given the options. Without thinking I asked to join this same group on their trip to Kyoto tomorrow, and if it's going to be the same as today it might not even be worth it. We'll see.

Sorry not sorry for ranting.

70 Days in Kansai photos (JULY/AUGUST) \
 70 Days in Kansai photos (JUNE)

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