Saturday, August 30, 2014


Everything is all fuzzy in my head. So many young people talk about how they're excited about their futures, but when I try to think about mine I can't envision anything. It's like after I cross that stage in May, all that awaits me is a wall, or a cliff or something. Literally I see nothing; I have so many ideas that my mind goes blank when I try to ponder what's ahead of me. I don't know whether I'm coming or going.

This semester is not starting off well either. I wanted to make this last year about me, but I don't know that I can. There's so much that I need to do and figure out in such a short period of time. I feel like I'm being swallowed up. I just accepted one opportunity just to feel like I was doing something, and now I'm not sure how I feel about it. Then I became aware of another opportunity, something that I've been waiting to come across ever since coming to school, but it seems like too much for me to handle. All the while, my heart's desire, what I want the most in life which also happens to scare me the most, continues to be put on the back burner. Is there really any good to be found on the other side of anything for me?

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