Monday, May 12, 2014

Bread and Butter [Paris]: introduction part 1

I'm going to Paris, France this summer! Around this time tomorrow I will be on my way.

I know that I've mentioned going to Paris in different posts here and there in the past few months. But since I'm leaving on Tuesday, I've decided to address it directly now so that you'll be clear on what it is that I'm doing. I'll be taking French classes for two weeks, and then starting in June I'll be working as an intern at an organization called Association La Métisse. La Métisse is a non-profit that helps develop and promote local artists, in addition to providing them with the support and resources they need to be successful. I don't know exactly where I come in, but I'll probably be doing administrative tasks and learning about how artist contracts are negotiated. Also, I'll be living with a host family during my stay in Paris.
I wish I could tell you that I'm excited about all this, but I'm actually very anxious and dread going. There's just so much more responsibility and expectations this time around. To tell the truth, I've never been more afraid to do something in my life. 

Change and transitions are always difficult for me to handle, so I know it'll be tough for me the first week or so. But whenever times get hard, I feel uncomfortable, I regret going to Paris, or I wonder what I'm doing there, I'm going to try to remember my kindergarten self. Remember how fascinated and inspired I was when, thanks to a little TV cartoon called 'Madeline', I first found out that a place called France exists. Remember how intrigued I was when I learned that that funny-sounding language that the characters in 'Madeline' were speaking was French. I want to remember how and why I was so confident in deciding at the age of 5 or 6, I'm going to learn French and I will go to France one day. More than 15 years have passed since then and I've changed tremendously, but that dream has never wavered. Now is that "one day" that I dreamt about, and no matter how I feel right now, I refuse to do a disservice to my kindergarten self by running away or being too scared to take full advantage of it.

As I did with my trip to Japan last year, I'll be writing almost daily on this blog about my adventures in Paris. I've decided to titled this series "Bread and Butter" as a reference to the well-known prayer that the little Parisian orphan girls in 'Madeline' would say, "We love our bread, we love our butter, but most of all, we love each other." If you can't contact me otherwise, this series will be the best way to keep up with me. Please look forward to it! And please pray for me as I try to get my nerves together.

 Kindergarten dreams really do come true!

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