Monday, April 6, 2015

Sessions with Sue 34

This past Thursday's session was pretty similar to the last, since just like last week I've been brooding about entering the abyss of graduating-with-no-prospects-and-moving-back-home-with-my-mom-with-nothing-to-look-forward-to-and-feeling-pretty-ashamed-about-it-all. Even the excitement and hope spurred by my Phi Beta Kappa invitation faded within a day, as a dear high school friend's grad school acceptance announcement (along with many other similar "Hey! Look! I have a future!" announcements made by people around me) reminded me that at present, I'm still going nowhere in life:
  •  Year-end academic award ceremonies; know you worked hard but don't feel like you deserve an award for it, given that you feel you're just going back to where you started at the end of the day. But that's your assessment of yourself, that's not how others see it; that's not how people who want to recognize you see it
  • Sure, a high GPA with honors, Phi Beta Kappa, even two degrees won't buy you the future you want. But it does say something about how you've spent these four years.
  • Not satisfied about what you haven't done, but maybe you can be someone who serves as an example and inspiration to others through what you have done academically
    •  Always thinking about having something to prove, but maybe people are already looking up to you, and maybe even more would be able to learn from you if they saw you and  knew your story
  • You have nothing to lose and everything to gain from asking for what you want
  • Pride real hurt right now; you can be sad/disappointed about the way things turned out yet still be proud of what you've achieved at the same time
  • Going home to spend time winding down and working on yourself probably makes the most sense considering the condition you're in right now; not ideal, but may actually be vital

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